Monday, June 23, 2008

Team Chidambaram Sucks At Jeddah

The hon-her-able P.Chidambaram is at it again. He studied at Harvard’s Business School. It’s an institution that prides itself on the fact that it can create economists who will never be able to solve an economic problem. They are however good at coming up with complicated theories with a lot of graphs that nobody will ever understand. That’s the reason why Chidambaram is the Indian finance minister.

A brilliant political move on the part of Sonia Gandhi. Everytime he presents a speech or budget in parliament, the opposition fails to understand what he says, thus they keep quiet. Their only physical response is to bang the tables out of desperation their brains can’t understand or are simply unable to control the urine bursting out of their bladders since Chidambaram’s speeches are so loooooong.

Inflation has been worrying the country, more so ME because the markets have been falling like crazy. Even after Bainsla got the cash for his sex change operation the Sensex is still going down. Meanwhile the government, especially that bearded French talking monkey MS Ahluwalia continues to maintain that they can bring inflation under control.

The government seems to think that oil is causing the price rise. Chidambaram shed the lungi and assembled a team to go and persuade the Saudis to produce more oil. At Jeddah they failed to resolve anything and having wasted a ton of gas in fuel and cash towards hotel charges they came back empty handed. This has resulted in more inflation and price rise. I know this because I paid a buck more to my dhobi who ironed my white shirt in the morning.

Upon further investigation I learnt that the Jeddah visit was botched up because the team consisting of P.Chidambaram, Murli Deora and two cigar sucking ad makers failed to convince the Saudis about anything.

Chidambaram was way too busy confusing the Saudis with Harvard talk like “The intrinsic nature of the price rise lies in the fact that forces beyond human control that are derivatively consolidated through a mixture of the capitalistic nature of men compounded by the compulsions of the country’s leftist issues caused by certain imperialistically dogged red men facilitated by the mass exodus of the thimble wearing MS Ahluwalia. In other words all that I just said is just something to overload your neurons with so much information that you will be forced to give us oil”

This failed to overload the Saudi neurons as they wear protective head gear.

The oil minister was busy asking for oil. Not crude oil but the other oil. Oil of an alcoholic nature better known as Scotch.

The other two men in the unsuccessful expedition were two Indian ad makers. Chidambaram needed someone to make up the numbers at Jeddah and so he picked them up from a TV studio. These two guys have a lot of opinions. They’re always available to talk. One is a generic fat man called Prahlad Kakkar who gives away the impression that he’s very clever.

The other is Alyque Padamsee.Someone whose name sounds like a musical instrument. He’s good at explaining in vague details the reason why something happened. In other words he‘s a useless punk I don’t like.

Thanks to these 4 guys. Nothing got solved. Nothing happened and the markets continue to fall. Time for revenge.

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