Thursday, January 7, 2010

BASIC MATH : Why I Don't Mind Meeting So Many People


For the lack of a better term, I’ll say ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR’ but it’s been more than a week. People have forgotten and India’s Stock Markets now open at 9 am so we’ll just pretend like nothing happened.

I’m such a busy man .Really, you people are lucky in some ways not to be as busy as me. I’m always being met by someone or the other. Traders, Brokers, Sub Brokers, Small Investors, Company Heads, Movie Stars, Cricketers, Mutual Fundies, SEBI Officials, Finance Ministry Dudes And Dudettes, Media Monkeys, Fashion Mag Editors, Representatives Of The Madame Tussauds Wax Museum.


Members from PETA, NASA, ISRO and Ramesh Iyengar’s Bakery.Charity organizations, track managers from the Mahalakshmi Race Course, The Prime Minister’s Office,Obama,Rakhi Sawant, My Own Staff At Rare Enterprises , Extended Relatives From The Enormous Marwari Jhunjhunwala Clan ,Carpenter , Plumber , Electrician And Even Hargobind Raj Engel Williams Tennyson Johns Bhatavdekar Dingelberry Sheikh Nailcutter.

You probably don’t know who Hargobind Raj Engel Williams Tennyson Johns Bhatavdekar Dingelberry Sheikh Nailcutter is but the point is even he comes to meet me.

Amidst all these people there are my adoring readers of my Secret Journal, many of whom personally thanked me for enlightening them on the many aspects of THE LADYKILLER Nitin Gadkari. So moved were they too at this literary masterpiece that they praised me in over 20 languages in the comment thread of LADYKILLER.

My twitter audience who wait everyday with bated breath for me to say ‘I HAVE ARRIVED©™’.

My own family, My Sweet Wife Rekha, My Awesome Mom, Little Princess Nishtha and The J Twins Aryaman and Aryavir who are now more than six months old, whose presence I thoroughly enjoy (but I will not be around when it’s time to change their diapers…Heh! Heh!).

But at the end of the day I am a BILLIONAIRE and then some. A billionaire a billion times over. THE WORLD’S 1062ND RICHEST MAN.....RIGHT

If I am to assume the world’s population to be SIX billion human beings. Given that the birth rate and the death rate are at one point even with these two rates averaging out over a long period of time and consistently cancelling each other out.

Then referring to the latest updated population census in every human establishment presided over by some form of government, democratic , military , kingship ,communists, Shibu Soren or otherwise with each government forced to undertake a head count in order to ensure a thorough estimate of resources to distribute or stock in bank accounts in the Presidency of Switzerland.

We are to therefore arrive at a nice, neat round figure of 6 billion human beings.

In numerals = 6,000,000,000

As I now subtract the number 1061 from 6 billion I arrive at this number:

Five Billion Nine Hundred And Ninety Nine Million Nine Hundred And Ninety Eight Thousand Nine Hundred And Thirty Nine.

Expressed hence in numerical form as:


So that’s the total number of people I’m richer than.

When I use my chartered accountancy skills and use the above two sets of numbers; In order to find as a percentage the exact quantity of humanity that I’m richer than, I arrive at this figure:


So that’s the total number of people I’m richer than.

This means I am in essence richer than over 99.99% of the World’s Population. I deserve a Dr.Manmohan Singh thumbs up.


So I guess in the end it’s pretty cool and I really don’t mind meeting so many people. JAI GANESHA!

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