Monday, April 28, 2008

Chicken Little and the Global Credit Crisis

No doubt the media has continued to play into the global crisis melt down theory. These same people orchestrated the global warming nonsense about a year ago. I don't mind because the naive are pulling money out of quality stocks in expectation of the tide reaching India. I like bargain stocks and the media is helping to create more of them. I often wonder besides me who is pulling their strings? I'll make ridiculous comments so that the market reacts to them all the while I am doing the opposite financially. This is the power of my position of course.

Some American twit decided to pontificate on the global crisis and if it would affect India. His analysis is surprisingly sound and if it reaches India's shores could cost me some money. Fundamentally the India growth story can't be stopped. Sure if the pinheads in Delhi start moving us back into the Indian Financial Stone age we could end up in a wreck, but I don't think the politicos have the courage. They are also making too much money skimming off the top.

However, I venture the media will quickly create more maelstrom and thus more and more of the day traders will continue to sell. I have been screaming "bear market" - "bear market" for a month now and thus getting stocks at bargain prices. I won't be at Forbes #1062 for very long.

Why Billy Wants More H1-B Visas

Why Billy Wants More H1-B Visas

Yesterday made me a very happy man. I was in my house worshipping 25 idols of Ganesh and Nandi. I could have worshipped just one idol of Ganesh but I believe in diversification.Heck, that’s the reason I’ve got so many damn shares and I worship Nandi simply because he’s a bull.

I was admiring the way my fat head was bouncing of Ganesha’s big golden tummy when I heard the phone ring. A servant I treat badly for the sake of capitalism brought it to me and on the other side of the phone was my good friend Billy a.k.a Billy gates.

Billy: Yo, I’m Rich

Me:yeah, me too.

Billy: I mean filthy rich

Me: Listen geeky freaky, I’m richer than you, people just think that you’re the world’s richest man .They don’t know that IN REALITY I’M THE RICHEST ONE OUT THERE. Don’t you ever forget that or I’ll suck the blood out right through your soda bottle covered eyelids and sell it to the mosquitoes of Zambia and Nigeria for a hefty price which I shall then invest into a Trust Fund I set up in your memory”

Billy-Your phenomenal description of violence combined with your foresight into selling my blood and then proceeding to set up a Trust Fund in my name is truly remarkable. I beg your forgiveness. Will the Trust Fund be 100% tax free?

Me: Of course! Duh! Who do you take me for? You shall however be forgiven on one condition; simply that you start putting pressure on the U.S Congress to issue more Visas to Indians. I want them to work anywhere but in India.

Billy: May I ask why?

Me: You don’t know anything do you- Fish Brain. This country is divided into 3 types of people:

1.) Those that aren’t rich.

2.) Those that’re already rich.

3.) Those who want to become rich.

I have no interest in the first category. I treat them with contempt and use them to do my dirty deeds. Meanwhile, I form powerful alliances with the second category and when they let their guard down I usurp all their wealth.

The third category is filled with lambs I like to slaughter. These are those who aspire to be like me and work hard their entire lives only so that I can usurp all their money if they do get rich.

The problem is they aren’t of use to me here. In order for them to become richer they need to work for maggots like you, there…not here.

Besides, if they stay here, they’ll have way too much time thinking about marriage and family. I want a tyrant to overwork them till they drop like Dead Oxen while at the same time presenting an illusion of the good life.

Billy: But if they die overworked, they won’t get rich and you can’t usurp all their money because…..they’re dead.

Me: Exactly-then we’d have killed off a prospective candidate for richness. We can then steal all their cash and invest it in hard to trace transactionaries like my favorite hunting ground-the Bombay Sensex.”

Billy-How does this scheme of yours benefit me?

Me: You’re a flamboyantly dumb piece of sticky tape, aren’t you? You get cheap labor, you get high quality work at extremely low prices plus you get a whole ARMY of people who could come up with a way to destroy Google.


Me: So when are you getting started.

Billy: My minions have already begun proceedings.

Me: Good boy.”

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Muk-hays is slacking off, He makes me think, and I hate that

I like Mukesh. Out of love for his money I call him Muk-hays. Muk-hays’ greatest achievement is simple. After daddy died he fought with his brother Ha-nil and broke the empire apart. Why was that good? Simply because I made an ass load of cash buying and selling Rel-hiance stuff. I made way more after the empire broke than before it. It is a totally different matter that I was in fact the one who poisoned that knuckle head to break things off with his annoying little brother Ha-nil in the first place.

Muk-hays has been busy the past few days trying to negotiate with my best friends in Kuwait. He’s trying to set up a refinery that refines polypropylene. What that basically means is that I manipulated Muk-hays into facilitating the manufacture of another organic compound that I can then use into causing a war very similar to the way I manipulated that bird brain George Bush into kicking Saddam’s ass and stealing all that oil and giving me most of it, which I sold to Muk-hays and Ha-nil for a ca-zillion Euros.

Muk-hays hasn’t been trying hard to get the deal done. The Kuwaitis are finding it difficult to pierce through his buffalo brain. Muk-hays should be concentrating all his efforts into making me richer .He’s instead trying to cheer his loser cricket team with an even more of a loser name ‘The Mumbai Indians’. Every single time that team plays I find him sitting on one of the seats in the stadium scratching himself all over. Worse his wife seems to bring the required anti –itch cream just so that he can continue to scratch and itch.

Doesn’t he know his responsibilities, it’s not to scratch and itch. It’s to make me rich.

Now his time is getting diverted by that jackass wrapped in a moron-Vijaypat Singhania. Who is that dufus? He’s the chairman of the IIM A. He wants to bring in an order that would allocate more power to the chairmen of the IIM’s.

This worries me simply because Muk-hays is the chairman of the IIM-B. If he got more power as the chairman he’d have to spend more time discussing imaginary problems in addition to what brand of underwear the chairmen should wear. It’s a very tight brotherhood…….of similar underwear wearing impotent clowns.

If all his time goes into cricket and underwear then when is he going to find time to do the things I need him to like ironing my 60 inch lungis and polishing my diamond chains in addition to making me even more rich.

Looks like I’ll have to take matters into my own hands. I’ll stop by Muk-hays’ house tonight and bash him with an electric fly swatter till he regains his senses and then I’ll fly to Singhania’s house and bore him to death with my tales of wealth and braiding arm pit hair. I’ll then flush him down the toilet like the cheap punk ass turd that he is.

That should hopefully set things right and Rakesh will continue to make even more than before.

Image courtesy of

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I’ll Still Get Richer

I was speaking to that moron Udayan Mukherjee from CNBC-TV18.He’s still stuck up in his really sad job because the Backstreet Boys have rejected his application to join their band for the 27th straight time.

He was asking me how long the markets would stay down trying to correct themselves [Translation, how are you going to make money now you fat ba*tard] to which I answered with convoluted variations of my answers to generic journalists-Stay Invested, Believe in the market, Think long term [Translation – I get richer with or without the market and after this interview I’m going to sit on you and break you in half like the breadstick you are]

The market’s been down for a while and even though I think it will bounce back soon I decided to inject some needless worry into the hearts of everyone poorer than me by telling them that it would stay down for at least 18 friggin months .The only reason it’s down is because that bald headed douche bag of a US Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke and his association of idiots decided it would be good if every bank there gave a ton of money to those who couldn’t give it back in time.

When his term gets over I shall kidnap him and bury his head in cow dung and have him whipped by my servants for the rest of his life. In any case what he did was just plain stupid not because of him being the causer of the credit crunch but more so because he is responsible for me losing so much money(which I have gained back and then some).I shall punish him simply because he made me work harder.

That pencil neck tried to get some free advice asking me about what I’d buy or sell. Real estate,pharma stuff, Oil and I told him very politely that I’d buy what I want ,when I want ,however needed and little dust mites like him couldn’t stop me. The camera turned off for one second and that’s when I beat the snot out of him and took every last dime that he had.

Back in 2000 I was a millionaire but the Bull Run since then has made me a damn billionaire a billion times over. There’s no chance in hell I’m going to let the run end. I simply spread fear and panic in the market so that the market comes down and everyone else gets poorer. The bottom line is come Bear or Bull or Sheep or Prawn I will always be rich AND GET RICHER.

Whether the market goes up or stays low or feels bored and goes round and round I always get richer. In fact I’m richer now than I was when I began writing this. All that shit about economic principles and inflation and government control doesn’t bother me but I will over time stamp out every last communist from this country simply coz they want to take all my cash and buy bikinis and tins of hair gel.

In case they all don’t already know I’m Rakesh Jhunjhunwalla and I’m rich-Bitch.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

George Soros Kisses Ambanis' Ass

I've written about the Ambani fued before and now the US's George Soros is puckering up to the two brothers. Knowing Soros as I do, he is making a overture to one or the other brother in order to get involved in their fortunes. Since the rest of the world is going to financial hell, Soros needs to put his client's money in areas of the world that are producing high returns. Where better than India?

"The most spectacular has been the rise of the Ambani brothers. When their father (Dhirubhai Ambani), the founder of Reliance Industries, died, the brothers divided his empire among them and are now trying to outdo each other," Soros said. (Translation: the little shits took daddy's money and are now acting like spoiled children) "Mukesh Ambani is using the cash flow from its oil and gas business to set up Reliance Retail, bringing food directly from the grower to the consumer," Soros noted, (Translation: Mukesh is selling you expensive oil and using the profits to set up a food business to take profits from the middlemen) while Soros termed it as a "bold project that seeks to cut the differential between consumer and producer prices by more than half". (Translation: Mukesh is about destroying the competition and roasting marshmallows in its flames - I need to know this guy)

Soros is responsible for Black Wednesday (September 16, 1992), and became immediately famous when he sold short more than $10 billion worth of pounds, profiting from the Bank of England's reluctance to either raise its interest rates to levels comparable to those of other European Exchange Rate Mechanism countries or to float its currency.

Allowing this clown to play in the Indian market is a mistake. While I am a believer in free and open markets, we shouldn't allow the crooks to participate. Worse, the man is currently predicting world gloom and doom but his predictions are as bad as Mini-j's love life. Bad timing and bad results. His predictions are designed to create controversy and sell his books. In 1998, (right before his latest book came out) he predicted the same and yet the world enjoyed another 3 years of prosperity effectively giving India it's place on the world stage due to India's help in the y2k crisis.

I called Soros the other day to ask him about his love affair with the Ambani's. He claims he sticking to his old strategy of kissing ass until he can kick it. He believes that the Ambani's actually are riding on the old man's coat tails and haven't yet made their own fortunes. If he has it his way, he'll be an advisor to both Ambani's and profit from the arbitrage opportunities. What a guy!

Monday, April 14, 2008

The Royal Western India Turf Club is Horsing Around

The Jackasses at the Royal Western India Turf Club (RWITC) are horse trading again with the BJR. Rahul Mallick is the head of this bunch and is a wily fellow. He's got each of the RWITC committee members eating out of his hand. As you probably know I own a part of the BJN Group and we have made a bid for the Gallops restaurant mainly because the food is horrendous. I actually lose weight eating there which should tell you something. The service is also terrible, some of the rude ones must have been trained in France while the rest are simply incompetent.

So the BJN Group placed a very high bid for the contract at Gallops which must have surprised the RWITC because the he scoundrel chairman of the RWITC Cyrus Poonawalla recently sent me an email questioning our high bid. Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a restaurant guru and I was never very good at cooking since I'm totally left-brained and would rather be served then serve, hence the small amount of weight gain, but I have been around businesses most of my life and I've always understood that a high bid usually wins a contract. But what do I know? Maybe things are different in the horse racing industry.

So I wrote back to him demanding he award us the contract and stop horsing around with the snakes at the BJR. I also demanded he set up a meeting and that I'd appear before the esteemed committee and plead the BJN case.

Poonawalla wrote back, "Let's get something straight. Like it or not, I'm the chairman. And like it or not, that means I make the decisions. If I say I want to examine your bid then I will. If you want a meeting, you set it up. And let me make you a promise right here and right now. If you get in my way, or if you try to screw with me, I will cut off your *@*#% and shove it where the sun don't shine or as we call it London. I hope you understand me?"

Now let me tell you what this is really all about. Cyrus Poonawalla thinks his days at the Mallick rupee trough are numbered if he awards the business to us. He's trying to find some loop hole to disqualify us in order to maintain his vaccine factory. Mallick has been supporting Poonawalla's efforts to create a super steroid serum to make his stable of horses faster and stronger. There is some evidence that it's starting to work because his horse Exhilaration had won a number of races but was retired early under questionable circumstances. Unfortunately, Cyrus has yet to find a horse to repeat Exhilaration's winning streak, so the super serum research must go on.

I know what you're wondering and no Poonawalla is not experimenting on the Gallops restaurant patrons. But I've made this contract award an issue and my personal crusade and I'm not going to quit until this kind of favoritism stops. I am serious. I urge everyone who is as outraged as I am to go here and email the RWITC board and let them know how angry you are.

- The Equine Master, Lord Jhunjhunwala

Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Buck Starts Here

I frequently get questions related to investing that I like to write down for posterity. I take great pride in educating the investor masses in India and feel good about helping them make money. These are some of the latest.

Q1: Your investment prowess is incredible. I mean it's like you have a crystal ball. I've been reading your journal religiously, and I was wondering: In Return of the Jedi, there's this giant worm or slug thing that enslaved and chained Princess Lea to it . Was that you?

A1: Screw you - you dopey bastard

Q2: Who makes more money an India Investment Banker or an Indian Politician?

A2: Early in my career I used to be amazed by the size of houses of politicians. I used to wonder how on a meager salary these politicians could build such grand houses. One day I asked him how he had the money to afford the house and he responded "it's simple, I borrow from pessimist voters, they don't expect the money back."

Q3: The BSE is talking about further reforms to the stock exchange. What are your thoughts on that?
A3: The BSE board and their so-called reforms comprise of the Louvre of financial mistakes. These people don't believe in a free and open BSE unless there is an admittance charge.

Q4: I'm a beautiful 21 year old girl. I'm funny, helpful and can hold a good conversation. I'm looking to find and marry a guy who makes at least a crore a year. Rakesh, I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a half a crore a year is middle class in Mumbai, so I don't think I'm asking for too much.

A4: Your offer, from the perspective of my sidekick Mini-j, is not an attractive business deal. Here's why. In simple terms, what you suggest is a trade: you bring your looks to the deal and Mini-j brings his money. Sounds good so far, but there's an interesting twist, your looks will fade and Mini-j's money will likely continue into perpetuity... in fact, it is somewhat likely that Mini-j's income will increase (assuming the Hungama Mobile deal works) but it is an absolute certainty that you won't get better looking!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and Mini-j is an appreciating asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 21 now and will likely stay attractive for another 8 years, but less so each year. Then the fade accelerates as you reach 30 and by 35 no one is turning their head to look at you anymore and Mini-j has to reenter negotiations with another girl.

Q5: In early January my broker was telling me to buy stocks as the market was going to go up. I found out last week that he had sold all of his stocks in mid-January but didn't tell me.

A5: Well obviously if your broker thought the market was going to crash and wanted to quickly get rid of his stocks, he needed to convince someone like you to buy them.

Q6: Mr. Jhunjhunwala, can you tell me how the stock market works?

A6: I like to keep things simple for my simple-minded audience so I developed this quick story to explain India's stock market. In a local village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy cobras for Rs. 400 each. The villagers knew there were many cobras around the village and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs. 400 and as the cobra supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort due to the increased cost of finding them. The man then announced that he would now buy at Rs. 800. This emboldened the villagers to start catching cobras again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their old jobs.

The man now announced that he would buy cobras at Rs. 2000! However, since he had to go to the big city on business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. Now that the man was out of sight, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these cobras in the big cage that the man has collected from you. I will sell them to you at Rs. 1500 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for Rs. 2000 each."

The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the cobras. Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only snakes everywhere! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.

Rakesh Jhunjhunwala's new Sidekick

No not the phone made famous by the tramp Paris Hilton, my new fund manager in waiting Rajiv Agarwal. I call him Mini-j because he substandard to me in brains and in looks. I have basically given him all the crap work I don't want to do and he's happy to oblige so I figured why not? I'll blame him for all the screw ups instead of taking them myself in the past. Mini-j is a bright kid, but those morons at Accenture screwed up his head, especially after the Arthur Anderson implosion. I plan to test out Mini-j's fortitude and nerves by having him audit my wife's expenses.

Mini-j has made a huge investment in Hungama Mobile and has risked his albeit small reputation on the company. If he proves wrong, he will have wasted a lot of my money, and if he proves right I will of course take all the credit. I mean that's how it works.

The first time Mini-j made the pitch for Hungama to me I thought he was more interested in impressing the Bollywood girls with his play for the company. Then I found out he was serious and had to pay attention. I figured it's probably a waste of money but then again we'd get access to the Bollywood crowd and for once Mini-j seemed to provide some value to me. If he's not making me money then he damn well better be introducing me to hot girls.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

A list that I am on Forbes #1062

Finally some recognition for all my hard work. As I have written before, the international media monkeys have largely ignored me and pretend that I do not exist simply because I haven't played their little games. Finally, after several years of disregarded Forbes finally showed some love. Tough love though because in order to get on the Forbes Billionaire list I had to pay off the Forbes editors which technically brought me under the billion net worth level which had they a brain would have knocked me off said list. Fortunately for me, run on sentences aren't a crime and that last one may have to be crossed out.

Now #9 sounds better than #1062 but no one wants to be #9 these days unless you like rooms with bars on them. While the billionaire list was a celebration of me, the editors pissed me off because they mention my smoking and drinking habits. Look at the rest of the 1000, no where is there a mention of their personal vices. The truth is the editors had just arrived at my office and were looking to partake in a drink to relax after a wild night of cow tipping (the bastards). Rumor has it the editors even tried to milk a few of them. So why would I want to get them drunk and have them defame some other Indian religious symbol.

Now reaching a billion in net worth was not easy and many have asked me whether it's enough. Worse, they ask me to give to charity because that's what Gandhi would do. Now I don't want to sound cocky, but I earned every rupee because I didn't listen to these damn people. They're fools that preach their socialistic agendas without any regard for the wealth creators who are truly helping the poor. If you want to make a difference in India, fine by me, but don't come running to me when the poor have spent all their money on useless crap instead of investing in their education.

So I'm not going to apologize for being wealthy. I want to make another billion and ram it up the SEBI nose. I call that charity for India. It's wonderful in fact dementedly brilliant!

- Jhunjhunwala #1062

Rakesh Jhunjhunwala's Phone Number

(+)I have had a spat of calls lately to inquire about the market. While I loath the media, I do appreciate the calls from tipsters. Especially the ones that send me secret information about my enemies.

(9) Some of my associates tell me that it is not a good idea to put my phone number on my web page. (1) They say that a bunch of fools will inundate me with calls looking for stock tips. (2) Well they would be right. (2) I'd rather that people who want stock tips read my past advice, or failing that, do their own damn research. Or as a last resort, try and find a reputable analyst that they trust to provide some common sense information about the stock market. (5) But I want to make it possible for some people to reach me directly; tipsters, for example, or CEO's wishing to have me invest in their pathetic companies at a ridiculously low price, or my informants at SEBI that let me know before the raids begin. (6) Since I work in my office and never at home, (5) I am putting my office phone number here on my web page.

(9) Sometimes I get calls late at night by bloody British investors who seem unaware that I do not live in their time zone. I work in India, which is four and a half hours later than UK, so knock it off you wankers. AND start respecting us, it's been 60 years since we threw you out. (0) Anyway, you better damn be aware of time zones when you call, and wait until at least 10am India time. (1) My time is valuable in fact more valuable then yours so you better speak to me quickly while ignoring punctuation. I want to hear what you have to say in 10 seconds or you're wasting my time. (0) Is that clear Mr. Happionaire? So any speed talkers with tips about my enemies who happen not be a Happionaire please reread this entry and you will find interspersed with the text all twelve digits of my phone number listed one digit at a time in parentheses, starting with the country code. (0)

Forgot to mention, for those of you that send me naked pictures of any politicians wives, or SEBI, BSE, RBI or otherwise, I'll throw in my email address too.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Happy While Investing

OK, so some clown forces his freak happy book to me during a meeting in my house which I frankly am going to slap the person who referred him to me. I don't give a hoot about his book but I liked his happy entourage.

Happy and investing don't mix in my world and the Happionaire isn't going to teach you how to be a billionaire. It might happily convince you to throw good money after bad however, because being in my world is tough. It's not for the happy but for the rough and strong minded.

A quote from his website reads, "The Happionaire Way is about fun, laughter and freedom. It is about abundance and being open to new ideas. It is about living, investing, succeeding with the power of knowledge. It is about simplicity and making learning pleasurable." In my opinion the book is about giving the author more money so that he is laughing and having fun all the way to the bank.

It's not just the corny title it's also the description of the book and the way the market is described as one happy place. And the premise doesn't make any sense at all. You only have fun when you are a winner like me. The losers are not having fun at all. Take a look at your stock broker friends right now Do they seem to be having fun?

Anyway, who ever referred me to this happy fellow will be shot in the head tomorrow. I think it may have been some moron at the BSE who is spying on me because I keep making incredible stock picks.


Saturday, April 5, 2008

Il Palazzo - A little Flat

Since stocks are in the toilet, I may as well try my luck with real estate. I was bored after losing my ass the past few weeks in the market so I decided to take a spin around the neighborhood. I've heard the Il Palazzo is the THE place in Mumbai to live but I have never bowed to such temptation before. I mean real estate is such a crappy investment these days and I can't sell the stuff fast enough in a down market.

The Il Palazzo is a nice enough place and the real estate agent showing me around was really hot. I mean Ashwarya hot! Regardless, with my dignity intact I looked around at some of the units and she begins to ask me stock advice. I'm thinking how the hell does this girl know me it's not like I'm in fashion magazines. She claims she saw my picture in the newspaper when I was screaming for the damn BSE to stop publishing my trades.
She then begins to drill me on my past legal issues with the BSE and begins to chastise me for settling with them. She seemed to have intimate knowledge of the cases and starting citing violations that I supposedly violated. All I could think about is how I could get away with violating her - er I mean quieting her so that I could look at the flat. She finally quieted her self and starting to talk about the features of the flat and how people that live in the building own half of Mumbai's wealth.

I then asked her if the flat came with a membership to a club but that seemed to trigger an uncontrollable response because she was like "we're living in a community, not in the "Rakesh-Jhunjhunwala-always-gets-to-take-all-the-money-in-the-center-of-the-Monopoly-board-and-never-lets-anyone-else-be-anything-but-the-shoe world you apparently seem to think it is."
Well I thought she looked like a socialist but now days you simply can't tell. I quickly changed the subject and asked her if she was attending a flag burning ceremony that afternoon. She didn't like that and got mad real fast. In fact so mad she started coming at me with fists clenched. I tried to duck for cover but she grabbed me and starting tearing at my shirt. She then starting messing up her own sari and starting pulling her hair. By then end of her freak attack she looked as if she was really attacked. Given I was the only person in the room, she could have made a case that I was responsible!

Then, like a bad Bollywood movie, she changed into a different woman. She calmly showed me the contract for the flat and asked me to sign. I looked at the price, "25 crore! are you insane woman?"

She starting dialing her phone and told me the authorities and media sure would like to hear about her little adventure this afternoon with one notable Jhunjhunwala. I quickly realized what was going on and decided 25 crore looked pretty cheap. I promptly signed the contract and wired the funds thinking my self fortunate. I mean the building and flat are nice -right?
So don't believe what you read in the papers. The world's greatest investor didn't overpay for the flat, he actually got it for a bargain.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

US Credit Crunch effecting India?

I'm sick - just sick of the US and European media causing widespread panic amongst their own public. Now it's beginning to spill over into the Indian markets which is causing me some big losses. I wish these fear mongers would stick their own markets and stop the Chicken Little routine. My real estate investor friends are finding it harder to get commercial real estate loans in India now all because the little banker lemon heads are pointing to how sour the US and Europe real estate markets have become.

Yesterday, I gave a talk about the benefits of portfolio concentration or in other words have a few eggs in your basket and watch that basket! However if the basket is being torn to shreds by a cantankerous media, the eggs begin to break.

My Fan Club

A certain Vijay Kishanlal Kedia claims to be a student of mine. "Whenever I make an investment, I take advice from Rakesh,” said Kedia. “As an investor, I am trying to copy Rakesh. I am just 1 per cent of him in knowledge, wealth and the contacts, but I take inspiration from him,” Kedia said.

While I appreciate the sentiments from Mr. Kedia, I believe he's riding my ever lenghtening coat tails. I'll take the compliments, but don;t use me to further your own profile sir!
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