I was speaking to that moron Udayan Mukherjee from CNBC-TV18.He’s still stuck up in his really sad job because the Backstreet Boys have rejected his application to join their band for the 27th straight time.
He was asking me how long the markets would stay down trying to correct themselves [Translation, how are you going to make money now you fat ba*tard] to which I answered with convoluted variations of my answers to generic journalists-Stay Invested, Believe in the market, Think long term [Translation – I get richer with or without the market and after this interview I’m going to sit on you and break you in half like the breadstick you are]
The market’s been down for a while and even though I think it will bounce back soon I decided to inject some needless worry into the hearts of everyone poorer than me by telling them that it would stay down for at least 18 friggin months .The only reason it’s down is because that bald headed douche bag of a US Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke and his association of idiots decided it would be good if every bank there gave a ton of money to those who couldn’t give it back in time.
When his term gets over I shall kidnap him and bury his head in cow dung and have him whipped by my servants for the rest of his life. In any case what he did was just plain stupid not because of him being the causer of the credit crunch but more so because he is responsible for me losing so much money(which I have gained back and then some).I shall punish him simply because he made me work harder.
That pencil neck tried to get some free advice asking me about what I’d buy or sell. Real estate,pharma stuff, Oil and I told him very politely that I’d buy what I want ,when I want ,however needed and little dust mites like him couldn’t stop me. The camera turned off for one second and that’s when I beat the snot out of him and took every last dime that he had.
Back in 2000 I was a millionaire but the Bull Run since then has made me a damn billionaire a billion times over. There’s no chance in hell I’m going to let the run end. I simply spread fear and panic in the market so that the market comes down and everyone else gets poorer. The bottom line is come Bear or Bull or Sheep or Prawn I will always be rich AND GET RICHER.
Whether the market goes up or stays low or feels bored and goes round and round I always get richer. In fact I’m richer now than I was when I began writing this. All that shit about economic principles and inflation and government control doesn’t bother me but I will over time stamp out every last communist from this country simply coz they want to take all my cash and buy bikinis and tins of hair gel.
In case they all don’t already know I’m Rakesh Jhunjhunwalla and I’m rich-Bitch.
