Hello, Rakesh Jhunjhunwala Now Comes With 25% Extra!!!

There are people who say “ALWAYS GIVE A 100 %” in whatever endeavors you undertake. I’ll tell these people right now that they are wrong! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG and more WRONG Dammit! Whatever I say is right and right now I am saying that one must never give a 100%. Rather they must always give 25%.

This is why I made an announcement recently that I intend to give 25% of my wealth away towards charity and the betterment of society.

I mean I have so much money that even Mukesh Ambani borrows from me. Who do you think keeps Reliance's shares on the BSE Sensex huh? So 25 percent is not going to affect me much. I can buy this whole planet, this whole solar system, this whole galaxy and if needed the entire universe if I wanted with the remaining 75% and still have enough cash to lead the high rolling, stake holding, gold bearing, diamond owning, yacht sailing, jet riding, snow skiing, Rolls racing, Helicopter flying, Samosa eating, booze guzzling, red carpet pimping, Note crunching Legendary Investor life that I already lead....RIGHT.

But this 25 percent will make a difference in the lives of those who need it. I am glad that in a country where poverty is a way of life 1 super awesome fantastic human being jumped forth from the drudgery of the melancholy of society to herald a beacon of kindness and philanthropy to the multitudes of poverty thereby inspiring even the inspired to a state of giving.

I am the giver of givers, the kindest of the kind, the coolest of the cool, the awesomest of the awesome and the humblest of the humble! Oh glorious day! I make myself spill tears of joy at the sheer ecstatic pleasurable benevolence of my supremely supreme wonderful mega giving nature.

But why 25%? Why not 24% or 26% or even 47.876543901353749407153380245731%??????

The answer is simple. Marvel at the mathematical precision of this wonderful percentage called 25. For starters take a look at this picture of Rakhi Sawant:

Now look at Rakhi Sawant's CHEST AREA WITH 25 % EXTRA.

This clearly demonstrates the power of 25 percent. Nonetheless for the sake of convenience I shall re-explain.

Here is Anil Kapoor with normal percentage of Chest Hair:

Now look at Anil Kapoor with 25% EXTRA CHEST HAIR.

Still don't get it? Then this will make things even clearer. Forget Anil Kapoor; now look at Sonam Kapoor with normal chest hair:

Now look at Sonam Kapoor with 25% EXTRA CHEST HAIR.

See! This is why 25% is such a magical figure and it is by philanthropy-izing alone that a suitable tribute can be paid to this wonderfully wonderful harmony of numerals juxtaposed into a percentage syntax.

Now watch and listen to this mega danceable song from ‘Heyy Babyy’ which also has 25% more!
 

BASIC MATH : Why I Don't Mind Meeting So Many People

WHOA! DUDES…. HEAD RUSH!

For the lack of a better term, I’ll say ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR’ but it’s been more than a week. People have forgotten and India’s Stock Markets now open at 9 am so we’ll just pretend like nothing happened.

I’m such a busy man .Really, you people are lucky in some ways not to be as busy as me. I’m always being met by someone or the other. Traders, Brokers, Sub Brokers, Small Investors, Company Heads, Movie Stars, Cricketers, Mutual Fundies, SEBI Officials, Finance Ministry Dudes And Dudettes, Media Monkeys, Fashion Mag Editors, Representatives Of The Madame Tussauds Wax Museum.

Members from PETA, NASA, ISRO and Ramesh Iyengar’s Bakery.Charity organizations, track managers from the Mahalakshmi Race Course, The Prime Minister’s Office,Obama,Rakhi Sawant, My Own Staff At Rare Enterprises , Extended Relatives From The Enormous Marwari Jhunjhunwala Clan ,Carpenter , Plumber , Electrician And Even Hargobind Raj Engel Williams Tennyson Johns Bhatavdekar Dingelberry Sheikh Nailcutter.

You probably don’t know who Hargobind Raj Engel Williams Tennyson Johns Bhatavdekar Dingelberry Sheikh Nailcutter is but the point is even he comes to meet me.

Amidst all these people there are my adoring readers of my Secret Journal, many of whom personally thanked me for enlightening them on the many aspects of THE LADYKILLER Nitin Gadkari. So moved were they too at this literary masterpiece that they praised me in over 20 languages in the comment thread of LADYKILLER.

My twitter audience who wait everyday with bated breath for me to say ‘I HAVE ARRIVED©™’.

My own family, My Sweet Wife Rekha, My Awesome Mom, Little Princess Nishtha and The J Twins Aryaman and Aryavir who are now more than six months old, whose presence I thoroughly enjoy (but I will not be around when it’s time to change their diapers…Heh! Heh!).

But at the end of the day I am a BILLIONAIRE and then some. A billionaire a billion times over. THE WORLD’S 1062^ND RICHEST MAN.....RIGHT

If I am to assume the world’s population to be SIX billion human beings. Given that the birth rate and the death rate are at one point even with these two rates averaging out over a long period of time and consistently cancelling each other out.

Then referring to the latest updated population census in every human establishment presided over by some form of government, democratic , military , kingship ,communists, Shibu Soren or otherwise with each government forced to undertake a head count in order to ensure a thorough estimate of resources to distribute or stock in bank accounts in the Presidency of Switzerland.

We are to therefore arrive at a nice, neat round figure of 6 billion human beings.

In numerals = 6,000,000,000

As I now subtract the number 1061 from 6 billion I arrive at this number:

Five Billion Nine Hundred And Ninety Nine Million Nine Hundred And Ninety Eight Thousand Nine Hundred And Thirty Nine.

Expressed hence in numerical form as:

5,999,998,939

So that’s the total number of people I’m richer than.

When I use my chartered accountancy skills and use the above two sets of numbers; In order to find as a percentage the exact quantity of humanity that I’m richer than, I arrive at this figure:

99.99998231666666666…

So that’s the total number of people I’m richer than.

This means I am in essence richer than over 99.99% of the World’s Population. I deserve a Dr.Manmohan Singh thumbs up.

So I guess in the end it’s pretty cool and I really don’t mind meeting so many people. JAI GANESHA!