The Secret Journal of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala
I always knew I was going to be rich. I never doubted it for a minute.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
The Author Has Landed
Sometime in 2007, this blog started out mainly as a joke - a funny experiment to see if we could create a fictional parody character based on the likeness of Mr.Rakesh Jhunjhunwala who would laugh at this wonderful place called India as it tries to be a part of the world.
Through the years ,we've tried to entertain you with words,images, videos and tweets.
The time has now come to take it a step further...
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am happy to announce that I have signed my first book based on the 'Jhunjhunwala' character from 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala' blog. Let me mince no words and give you, the readers of the blog and the tweets my utmost and heartfelt thanks because it is you who have taken a guy who has for years clawed away in one small corner of the internet and made it one step easier for him to earn an opportunity at fulfilling a lifelong dream of becoming an author.
Many times I have failed at entertaining you but thanks to the efforts of great men and women like Mayawati, Suresh Kalmadi, RR Patil, Sharad Pawar, Manmohan Singh, Rakhi Sawant, Rahul Gandhi, Chhagan Bhujbal , A.Raja, Karunanidhi, Mamata Banerjee, Ravindra Jadeja, Deve Gowda, Vijay Mallya, Obama, Bush, Shivraj Patil , Jayalalitha , Uday Chopra and countless others, I have partially succeeded or at least tried doing so.
You guys and the stalwarts above have helped get Random House to publish my debut humour novel and thanks to all of you I will be able to present my first book titled :
'How To Become A Billionaire By Selling Nothing'
More can be found on the book page but in short the story is of a man who wants to sell 'Nothing' and becomes monstrously rich doing so.This is the cover :
The book hits stores on May 9th,2014 and is now up for order from flipkart and Amazon.
Kindle and ebook versions are available post the 9th of May.
Kindle and ebook versions are available post the 9th of May.
Stay tuned for more updates and do check out the book page, twitter handle and and other book site links for more details.
Counting on your continued kickass support and admiration for my nonsense.
Remaining Awesome and Humble,
Sir Sri Jhunjhunwala aka Author(HELL YEAH!) Aditya Magal.
Monday, December 30, 2013
IMAGES 2013 : A Rajeev Reddy Tribute To 2013 Highlights
This is Rajeev Reddy from Country Club. He likes to do 'THUMBS UP' . Here he is doing THUMBS UP in front of Mount Rushmore.
Here he is doing THUMBS UP on the Moon.
The Year began with a warning.
No political parties took it seriously.
Many things changed in 2013 but some things stayed just the same...Like this guy...
Terrorist Yasin Bhatkal was pWned
A diplomat was insulted ...
There was a Ganguly problem...
NO,Not that one,This one:
Some couples split willingly...
And Some Unwillingly...
Wolverines became phone ambassadors
(Micromax :1 - Apple :0)
(Micromax :1 - Apple :0)
In UP,Statues stood still...
And Muzzafarnagar Burnt...
This guy leaked some awesome shit and went to Russia...
Back in India, 'Meri Jung : One Man Army' on Set Max was replaced as the most frequently televised film by
'Student of the Year'
And on TV, This guy became IDIOT OF THE YEAR...
There was laceration and atonement...
A GOD announced his retirement...
And another GOD also announced his retirement...
The year ended with a blockbuster...
And another GOD also announced his retirement...
The year ended with a blockbuster...
RAJEEV REDDY - HE IS NOT A MAN, HE IS A THUMBS UP DOING MACHINE!
HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
'I Did Not Rape That Girl. IT WAS A LIFT INSPECTION' - Tarun Tejpal
Dear Sir Sri Jhunjhunwala,
My name is Tarun Tejpal and I am not a rapist.
I used to run a magazine called Tehelka till I was forced to take
a 6 month vacation .My idiot Managing Editor Shoma Chaudhury now runs the place
while I do laceration and atonement.
No , Not the film 'Atonement' but you get the idea.
For the past few days News has been rife with news of something I
was supposed to have done inside a Hotel Lift in Goa to a fellow employee at
Tehelka.
I am writing this letter to you to put forward the facts of that
night.I want to set the record straight.
1.) The event in itself can best be described from many leaked emails and statements as rape
, molestation , sexual harassment , sexual assault , sexual
misconduct , sexual liason , sexual banter, one sided
consensual sex, untoward incident
A LIFT INSPECTION. It was a lift Inspection I had
carried out that day with my young journalist friend. It had nothing to do with
any criminal behavior of any kind.
2.) For long I have been worried about the state of India's
elevators and LIFTS. More so, because our country's state of load bearing
hydraulics and weight hoisting machinery from one floor to another has been
very problematic.
3.) The problem of dangerous lifts was brought to my attention by
well known singer and frequent Visa applicant, Adnan Sami who very beautifully
annotated in his song 'Lift Kara de'
the issue of weak and potentially fatal lifts.
4.) On the day of the incident I was merely doing a lift
inspection, I had even hooked up one of my famous Tehelka sting operation
cameras into the lift CCTV so that I could do a sting operation on the Hotel
where I was staying. Unfortunately I found out much later that the lift had no
CCTV in the first place.This was my sheer bad luck.
5.) I want to tell you categorically since you are the only
person on this planet whose authority overrules even that of Arnab Goswami, The
Supreme Court and The US President...combined, that I DID NOT RAPE THAT GIRL!
6.) It Was Completely Her Fault! She not only wore sexy clothes
but also ate Chowmein and used fancy mobile phones - all of which have been
comprehensively proven to cause rape according to Khap Panchayats. She was showing me pictures of Chowmein on
her mobile phone in an attempt to titillate me!
7.) Despite such brazen provocations I did not get affected and
continued to inspect the lift for faulty wiring,structural flaws,etc. It just so happened that this wiring
happened to be in the girl's clothes and on her body.
8.) This
is a political conspiracy to stop India from providing world class lifts to its
citizens. The Congress and the BJP have once too often engaged in
corruption and swallowed the funds meant for lift construction. These political parties want common people
of India to be stuck in a tyranny of stair climbing while fat netas from their
own parties continue to get LIFTED
to higher levels.
9.) Tehelka has always stood for Strong and fair journalism. I am
confident that despite my atonement they will reach higher
levels...literally,because I have told Shoma to put more lifts in the Tehelka
office building.Thus we will break our dependence on the laceration caused to our
feet by walking and climbing stairs.
In Conclusion - I Did Not
Rape That Girl. IT WAS A LIFT INSPECTION - I REITERATE
Journalist and Lift Inspector,
Tarun Tejpal
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