Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Sometimes film actors get married and produce children. Anil Kapoor also did this and he produced a daughter called Sonam Kapoor.Sonam Kapoor is now a film actor. In future she will get married and she will produce children. Her children will grow up and become actors. They will get married and produce children. Those children will become film actors and they will get married and produce more children who will become film actors who will get married and produce more children who will become film actors….

Anil Kapoor’s marriage and ability to produce children is a long term investment, it just keeps on growing. His life is therefore of paramount interest to a long term investor like myself.

Sonam Kapoor is a strong Indian Woman. She is from India’s younger generation.

This is the generation that is rebellious and is sponsored by Pepsi. It’s a generation that is currently fighting for its own country called Youngistaan.

Sonam Kapoor is not only a film actor but social activist as well. She is an ardent supporter of women’s rights. As a member of the younger generation she does things differently. She cannot stand the abuse of women.

Just recently in Mangalore a man called Pramod Muthalik who has very little hair on his head told his followers to go to a pub and steal liquor but those guys were interrupted by some girls .They got angry and beat up those girls.

The girls were sad, so they went and complained to women’s rights supporter Sonam Kapoor.

Sonam Kapoor decided to do something about it. She decided to protest against this in her own way. Her heart was bleeding at the sight of the women who were beaten up by Pramod Muthalik’s men.

Sonam Kapoor decided to activise.She kidnapped a white pigeon and put the pigeon on her head and then she started singing a song called MASAKALI.To this song she performed the ancient Indian dance of KATHAKALI.

By singing masakali and doing Kathakali with a pigeon on her head she has shown the country that women’s rights are important. Sonam Kapoor has also shown that the citizens of India can protest against things that require protesting not by lighting candles and marching from Point A to Point B with banners but dancing with pigeons on our heads.

Because only if we dance with pigeons on our heads can justice be achieved and can we truly be called PIGEONHEADS.

Somebody who wants to be a PIGEON HEAD is NDTV journalist Barkha Dutt.

There is a man sitting in the Netherlands called Chyetanya Kunte who writes a blog. On this blog he wrote something about Barkha Dutt. Barkha Dutt got angry after reading what Kunte wrote and decided to put pressure on Kunte to withdraw his post.Kunte withdrew the post and apologized to Barkha.

Now I don’t understand this .Barkha Dutt is the same woman who keeps shouting “Freedom Of Speech And Expression” and “The Government Does Not Have The Right To Censor People”.

So when Barkha writes something anti-government and uses words like ‘liberal’ and ‘self regulation’ she gets a Padmashri but when Kunte writes something similar he gets threatened by NDTV’s lawyers !!

The thing is that just because Kunte withdrew his post because of Barkha pressure, doesn’t mean the rest of the world can’t see what he actually wrote. Barkha can pressure Kunte but not me; I’m the world’s 1062nd richest man. I can crack NDTV in 1 single trading session if I want.

Therefore this humble stock broker will now show the world the very document suppressed by Barkha Dutt and her lawyers:

Shoddy journalism

Date: Thursday, 27 Nov 2008 20:39

Appalling journalism. Absolute blasphemy! As I watch the news from home, I am dumbfounded to see Barkha Dutt of NDTV break every rule of ethical journalism in reporting the Mumbai mayhem. Take a couple of instances for example:

  • In one instance she asks a husband about his wife being stuck, or held as a hostage. The poor guy adds in the end about where she was last hiding. Aired! My dear friends with AK-47s, our national news is helping you. Go get those still in. And be sure to thank NDTV for not censoring this bit of information.
  • In another instance, a General sort of suggests that there were no hostages in Oberoi Trident. (Clever.) Then, our heroine of revelations calls the head of Oberoi, and the idiot confirms a possibility of 100 or more people still in the building. Hello! Guys with guns, you’ve got more goats to slay. But before you do, you’ve got to love NDTV and more precisely Ms. Dutt. She’s your official intelligence from Ground zero.

You do not need to be a journalist to understand the basic premise of ethics, which starts with protecting victims first; and that is done by avoiding key information from being aired publicly—such as but not limited to revealing the number of possible people still in, the hideouts of hostages and people stuck in buildings.

Imagine you’re one of those sorry souls holed-up in one of those bathrooms, or kitchens. A journalist pulls your kin outside and asks about your last contact on national television, and other prying details. In a bout of emotion, if they happen to reveal more details, you are sure going to hell. Remember these are hotels, where in all likelihood, every room has a television. All a terrorist needs to do is listen to Ms. Barkha Dutt’s latest achievement of extracting information from your relative, based on your last phone-call or SMS. And you’re shafted—courtesy NDTV.1

If the terrorists don’t manage to shove you in to your private hell, the journalists on national television will certainly help you get there. One of the criticisms about Barkha Dutt on Wikipedia reads thus:

During the Kargil conflict, Indian Army sources repeatedly complained to her channel that she was giving away locations in her broadcasts, thus causing Indian casualties.

Looks like the idiot journalist has not learnt anything since then. I join a number of bloggers pleading her to shut the f⋅⋅⋅ up.

Update: In fact, I am willing to believe that Hemant Karkare died because these channels showed him prepare (wear helmet, wear bullet-proof vest.) in excruciating detail live on television. And they in turn targeted him where he was unprotected. The brave officer succumbed to bullets in the neck.

Update 2 [28.Nov.2300hrs]: Better sense appears to have prevailed in the latter half of today—either willfully, or by Government coercion2, and Live broadcasts are now being limited to non-action zones. Telecast of action troops and strategy is now not being aired live. Thank goodness for that.

Update 3 [30.Nov.1900hrs]: DNA India reports about a UK couple ask media to report carefully:

The terrorists were watching CNN and they came down from where they were in a lift after hearing about us on TV.

Lynne Shaw in an interview.

  1. Oh, they have a lame excuse pronouncing that the television connections in the hotel has been cut, and therefore it is okay to broadcast. Like hell!
  2. I’m thinking coercion, since Government has just denied renewing CNN’s rights to air video today; must’ve have surely worked as a rude warning to the Indian domestic channels.

Now that the document is out Barkha might get angry. She might conduct a special ‘WE THE PEOPLE’ to discuss how I should be punished.

But I will be watching Sonam Kapoor hosting ‘WE THE PIGEONS’.

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