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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

What Does 'Sad Boy' Mean?

So let me get this straight:

The old Home Minister is sitting at home.

The old Finance Minister is the new Home Minister.

The current Prime Minister is in the same hospital run by doctors who hate the current Health Minister.

The Foreign Minister is the acting Prime Minister AND Foreign Minister AND Finance Minister.

Can anybody tell me WTF is going on????

Things that used to mean something mean something else. People who were supposed to do one thing are doing something else. In such a dire situation I have no choice but to start redefining some words so that people finally know what they exactly mean:

RAJU:-

1.) Used to indicate a resident of Chanchalguda Jail in Andhra Pradesh who was once the chairman of a major computer company and landed in jail for fraud.

2.) Indicates a man who is the head of India’s new National Investigative Agency. A man who will in future investigate the inhabitants of Chanchalguda Jail, especially one inmate called RAJU.

The above is illustrated in the following example: RAJU of the NIA is currently investigating RAJU of Satyam while RAJU is cracking jokes about both RAJUs and a fourth RAJU has offered to teach any and all RAJUs the art of left arm spin bowling.

ICC -An abbreviation-A body of people in suits who manage the sport of cricket but themselves haven’t played a single day of cricket in their entire lives. They have been known to complicate things by using something called the Duckworth-Lewis method which allows cricket teams that have won the match to lose by a margin of more runs than actually scored and by more wickets than actually available.

Bull: A sexy beast that invests in the stock market.

Bear: The natural enemy of the bull, created by GOD to piss the bull off to ridiculous proportions.

Rakesh Jhunjhunwala: India’s biggest and sexiest bull.

Shankar Sharma: A bear created solely to piss Rakesh Jhunjhunwala off to ridiculous proportions.

HDFC Sad boy: A little boy who acts in HDFC’s Standard Life Insurance ads and is unhappy that his dad might one day go missing.

Slumdog Millionaire :A film made by a non-Indian to show the rest of the world how beautiful the dirtiest parts of India are and also a film that finally allowed Anil Kapoor to stand in a room without Subhash Ghai spying on him.

Deepika Padukone: A girl who could have dated the captain of the Indian cricket team or the dude who hit six 6’s in an over but instead decided to date the dude who showed his butt to Sanjay Leela Bhansali and 32,000 extras on the set of Saawariya.

Ram Sethu: A bridge that used to connect India and Sri Lanka but has now been destroyed.

V.Prabhakaran: A Sri Lankan terrorist who wishes that the Ram Sethu had not been destroyed because if it was still there he could use it to enter India and visit his friend Vaiko’s house especially at a time when the Sri Lankan army is kicking his LTTE’s ass.

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