For the past few days people have been asking where the hell I’ve been ? Well, I’ve been training for the Mumbai Marathon. The reason I decided to run the marathon yesterday is because it proves to be helpful to me in the following ways:
a) I have diabetes; running in a marathon helps one to keep cholesterol levels in check.
b) All famous and important people were running the marathon. I am famous and important; it was therefore my duty to run.
c) A lot of my Kenyan friends run the Mumbai marathon. I got to meet them and discuss some contracts for the Nairobi stock exchange.
d) My wife says I should lose weight. Running a marathon helps one lose weight according to her. It is usually at this point that I tell her that weight is a scientific concept and that weight is relative to the gravity of a planet. She doesn’t understand this which is when I tell her that had we been on the moon I will be extremely light and the correct scientific quantity that I lose should be calculated in terms of body mass and not weight.
e) A marathon also gives away free stuff like a complimentary t-shirt and a bottle of mineral water.I like free stuff.
f) The media monkeys described it as an event for peace .I went to the marathon hoping that I would get PEACE ,all I got instead with the T-shirt and water was a packet of frozen Safal brand PEAS.
My training paid off. I was able to complete one whole lap. I could have easily won the race instead of Kenyan Kenneth Mugara but realized that once the cameras were off, there was no point in running.
Therefore I called up mini-j. He immediately arrived with my car and personally drove me to the finish line. Why walk when you can run? Why run when you can drive? Why drive when someone else can drive you.
Before the marathon, I also set up a hospital foundation so that the over excited people who ran the marathon and developed health problems in the process can take treatment there. Since this marathon is an annual event I expect a lot of people to develop health problems after running it each year, thus allowing me to make abundant revenues.
Another long term investment success for me.
Meanwhile, there in the USA American people are excited that Barack Obama will finally become President. Barack Obama is also excited that he will become president. He travelled by train to his own inauguration. He took a train because he couldn’t go by car. American car companies have stopped making cars because they’re in need of a bailout. They did get a bailout but it wasn’t to the tune of 700 billion dollars, so this is how they protest.
The world will talk about Obama but in the middle of all this the world must not forget the one man who made the world a much more interesting place.A dude who proved that even somebody like him could be the World’s 2nd most powerful man.
Let us never forget one of the world’s greatest men of all time.The man called Bush.
