Thursday, September 17, 2009

NDTV Profit Presents 'Business On Course' With Hafiz Saeed

Man What A DAY!, Busy With work and then I was at the ITC Kakatiya in Hyderabad where I had a sumptuous meal and was interviewed by NDTV.

Speaking of NDTV, those guys also run a business channel called NDTV Profit. On this channel there is one anchor called Shaili Chopra .Shaili conducts a weekly program where she talks to company CEO’s and Plays Golf at the same time. The program is called ‘Business On Course’.

Recently she conducted an interview with Hafiz Saeed the CEO of the Lashkar- E- Toiba (LeT) but due to security reasons the hon-her-able P.Chidambaram has censored it’s broadcast.

But me being who I am got the banned video tape of the interview, however I won’t allow you people to see it because the footage is highly controversial, So I’ll just post the transcript.


“Shaili: Mr.Saeed welcome to the program.

Saeed: Thank you, Asalum Waleykum.

Shaili: Let me begin by asking you this: You’ve been in business now for the past twenty years. How is today’s terrorism different from when say, you began the LeT.

Saeed: Today you know it’s a lot more competitive, we live in a globalized world. There are more terror outfits coming up which is a good thing to witness because the customer has more options to choose from.

Shaili: You spoke about the globalization bit, can you just elaborate?

Saeed: Sure, in India for example the LeT is the highest rated terror group. The Taliban has made tremendous progress from Afghanistan into Pakistan.

Jihad is today a worldwide phenomenon, even in places like England, Mongolia and China the industry has rapidly made progress.

Shaili: Coming to India, you’ve been the market leader in terror for the major part of this decade, you personally had a lot of influence in wresting the #1 position from the Jaish E Mohammad, How did you crack the Indian market?

Saeed: We didn’t want to restrict operations to only one geographical area. I realized pretty early that if we were to succeed in India we had to diversify.That’s why we aggressively increased operations in Bangalore,Hyderabad,Jaipur,Lucknow,Ahmedabad,etc. You know build a pan India presence.

Shaili: And you’ve done really well in Mumbai.

Saeed: Yes,we realized that we were simply not doing enough in Mumbai so we set up separate manufacturing bases in Pakistan Occupied Kashmir (POK), reduced the entry age for wannabe Mujahideens from 18 to 13 and created a new headquarters under our ‘Indian Mujahideen’ brand. Sooner, thank Allah the results have shown.

Shaili: But the world is going through a global recession. How have you avoided the credit crunch to ensure enough liquidity?

Saeed: You know Shaili, people ask me that a lot!

Shaili: Hehe! What do you say!

Saeed: I’ve always believed that in an industry like terrorism Hawala funding is the best way to procure money. Our contacts through the years in places like the UAE have come through which has ensured uninterrupted supply of credit. That’s how we have avoided being squeezed by this credit crunch.

Shaili: But the LET has been accused of not handing over power to its next generation of leaders, what you have to say about that.

Saeed: That is an unfair comment. It might have been so a decade ago but not now. We Believe That The Youth Of Today Are The Key To Blowing Up India’s Parliament Tomorrow.

That’s why we started our youth cell SIMI or Students Islamic Movement of India which has played a key role since the Mumbai Train Bombings of 2006.

The aim being to recruit infidel haters earlier and tap into their college’s placement cell so that they can intern with us right from the moment they come out of college.

Ajmal Kasab in fact was part of a similar program in Pakistan.

Shaili: You’ve also pioneered the low cost bombing model in India which is uniquely indigenous; tell us a bit about that.

Saeed: Funny story really! I was sitting at home one day waiting for the local restaurant guy to bring my lunch. He arrived on a cycle carrying my Tiffin box.

At that moment it hit me, the LeT could save lots of money if we put the bombs on cycles or in Tiffin carriers to do damage instead of trying to ambush Army Convoys.

And since Cycles and Tiffin Boxes don’t cost much we had to bear only the RDX costs and the money we were saving on delivery could be diverted into making more bombs. That’s how and I’m proud to say this, the LeT has managed to create the world’s lowest cost supply chain oriented serial bombings.

Shaili: And this is fully localized,

Saeed: Oh yes! We patented the system so not even the Palestinian Hezbollah can steal it. It’s a custom made carrier system which allows multiple bombs to explode via timing devices set on cycles on the same day.

Shaili: And did you receive enough support from the government?

Definitely! Shivraj Patil has personally ensured our success with his ‘Patil Udyog Sheher Blast Yojana Scheme’.

Shaili: But what about your own government, Pakistan I mean.

Saeed: Well they were hesitant at first to dilute their ISI stake holding in the company but after I managed to take the ISI’s board of directors into confidence, they were more than happy to allow us to manage operations independently.

Shaili: But they are still the majority stake holders,

Saeed: Yes but you know the LeT is a PSU after all, however the fact that they have divested this much with the 2007 IPO is encouraging for Pakistani Enterprise.

Shaili: Well let’s talk about America.

Saeed: Oh they’ve been the best!

Shaili: Really! How?

Saeed: Well they give Pakistan so much military aid that much of it also comes to the LeT to perform pro Kashmir anti- India activities. In fact LeT infiltration across the LOC is powered largely by American Aid money.

Shaili: Who would you say is your biggest competitor in India?

Saeed: Without doubt the Naxal Group Of Companies and the Maoists.

Shaili: Are you worried that they might take the #1 position from you in outsourced terror activities?

Saeed: No, No, No! See their base is still quite small. They’re only dominant in the eastern jungles. Moreover their business methods are quite ridiculous.

The ULFA for example only likes to blow up things or burn things.

With us the LeT on the other hand, terror is an art. That’s why the LeT Terrorist Experience Is Much Better Than Any other terror experience.

Shaili: Where do you go from here, Mr.Saeed?

Saeed: Well right now I’m busy preparing for the one year anniversary of 26/11.It’s going to be an important milestone in the twenty years of the LeT.

Shaili: But what about all the recent talk of Corporations giving back to society, don’t you think the LeT should do that as well.

Saeed: Of course we do! And that’s why we also operate our Jamaat Ud Dawa charities.Not even the Taliban does this because like I said earlier educating the youth of today is the key to blowing up India’s parliament tomorrow.

Shaili: It makes more of an impact the second time you say it!!

Saeed: Live and LeT die I say!

Shaili: He He! With that we come to a wrap of this program. Thank you Mr. Saeed for talking to NDTV.

Saeed: Always a pleasure, Khuda Hafiz!”

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