Here lies the misinterpretation of Pritish Uncle from the Twitter Steel Cage Match on Saturday. This is your Republic Day present so don’t ask me for anything else.
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Twitter Pitch Report By Ravi Shastri: “Wonderful weather today, great crowd expected for this mega blockbuster event. Let’s take a look at the pitch now.
I just get the feeling that there's a lot of grass on the surface but it looks like it will also help spin so when either of the participants punch, their fists can spin and Knock Out the other one. Extra humidity in the air but we can expect the dew factor on the canvas later.
Back to the studio.”
Mandira Bedi: “Thanks Ravi, lets take a look at the vital statistics here.”
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@Jhunjhunwala
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@PritishNandy |
| Occupation: Legendary Investor.
| Occupation: Film Producer, Journalist. |
| Twitter Bio: I Invented Twitter For I Always Knew I Was Going To Tweet About Being Rich. | Twitter Bio: A chronicler of my times. Sometimes truthful. Sometimes not. But always searching for something I can never find. |
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TWITTER DP : Front Pose, Smiling Face, Yellow T-Shirt. |
| Nickname : Rocky J | Nickname :Pritish Uncle |
| Tweeting Style: Phenomenal 140 Character Based Tweets Of Sheer Technique And Ecstasy.
| Tweeting Style: Direct, Talks To Everyone, Alas! That’s His Problem. |
| Advantages: Heavy Size, Can Deliver A Devastating Body Slam. Damage Impact Of Punches And Kicks Minimized Due To Fat Barrier. | Advantages: Razor Sharp Goatee. Shaved Head Can Deliver Impressive Head Butt. |
Pre Match Comments:
I HAVE ARRIVED - GET READY TO FIGHT @pritishnandy !
@pritishnandy @achks What fight? I am here, aimlessly drifting. No @jhunjhunwala. Siesta after making a few more crores?
@jhunjhunwala entrance music,explosion,Clothesline,punch,kick,Are You Ready ,not reddy as in Reddy Brother.
@pritishnandy I am ready Sirji. I love fat combatants. They move slow.
@pritishnandy Tell me what I Hulk Hogan call will be like so that I can expect it. Shouldnt be like a sparrow chirruping.
@pritishnandy Shall I call @mexicantadka to distract you?
Bell rings,ting,ting,ting,match starts now.
@jhunjhunwala You called me FAT.Is this publicity to promote your upcoming film Fatso?
@pritishnandy My apologies. You are not fat. You are linearly challenged. But you are cool. I like cool. Fatso is cool.
BREAKING NEWS : NANDY ACCEPTS COOLNESS OF JHUNJHUNWALA.FANS OF JHUNJHUNWALA CELEBRATE
@jhunjhunwala Everyone is on twitter including Out of work actors.Why then is Mayawati not tweeting.I smell a conspiracy.Is this your fault?
@pritishnandy No, there’s not enough space on twitter for Mayawati, you and Jayalalitha. You have to get a bigger server.
@jhunjhunwala Again with the FAT reference ,looks like I have to start making Bald Jokes!
@pritishnandy Shaved, not bald sirji. I shave my head every other day.
BREAKING NEWS: NANDY ADMITS TO SHAVING OWN HEAD, APPROACHED BY GILLETTE TO TAKE PART IN SHAVE INDIA MOVEMENT.
@jhunjhunwala You were a Rajya Sabha MP,that’s the upper house.Is there a lift in Parliament from the Lok Sabha to the Rajya Sabha?
@pritishnandy No, we just strolled across. But since neither LS nor RS worked more than 60 or 70 days a year, we were largely unemployed.
BREAKING NEWS : NANDY MAKES SENSATIONAL CLAIM.SAYS PARLIAMENT WORKS ONLY FOR 60-70 DAYS A YEAR.MP’S CRY FOWL.SAY NANDY IS SEEKING PUBLICITY AT EXPENSE OF HARD WORKING MP’S.
@jhunjhunwala Free porn is available all over the net,still people are searching for the ND Tiwari Sex Tape.Don’t they need a psychiatrist?
@pritishnandy They want to see the gumption of a 84 year old man who can take on 3 (or was it 4) babes before a camera. I confess I cant.
BREAKING NEWS : ND TIWARI OFFENDED THAT NANDY HAS NOT VIEWED SEX TAPE ‘GOVERNOR: ONE NIGHT IN TIWARI’.PROMISES TO “DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT”.
@jhunjhunwala Did you know that Pritish Nandy rhymes with ‘Free Dish Handy?’
@pritishnandy You have missed your true calling, Firaq Gorakhpuri. You are blessed with a sense of rhyming.
BREAKING NEWS :NANDY CALLS JHUNJHUNWALA GREATEST POET OF LAST 200 YEARS.BROKERS GIVE STANDING OVATION TO RAKESH JHUNJHUNWALA.
@jhunjhunwala If you wanna say ‘Cattle Class’ U should probably say it now.Not saying it implies you disrespect cattle.
@pritishnandy I love cattle. I love all species barring corrupt politicians n celebs who say Yo bro.
@pritishnandy Sorry, typo. Meant Yo bro
BREAKING NEWS :NANDY MAKES TYPO ERROR, JUSTIFIES SPELLING MISTAKE, NATION UP IN ARMS. EDUCATION MINISTER WANTS NANDY TO TAKE SPECIAL CLASSES.NANDY FANS BURN EFFIGIES OF JHUNJHUNWALA FOR MAKING HIM SAY ‘CATTLE CLASS’
@jhunjhunwala The WELL-ness partner of Raat Gayi Baat Gayi is Moksh,3 idiots has a song = ‘All is WELL’.Why are U film guys lovers of WELLS?
@pritishnandy I grew up watching Citizen Kane by Orson Welles.
BREAKING NEWS : NANDY WANTS ROSEBUD. GARDENERS SAY ALL ROSES HAVE BEEN EXPORTED TO DELHI FOR REPUBLIC DAY CELEBRATIONS.NANDY SULKS,DECIDES TO GO ON HUNGER STRIKE FOR ROSEBUDS.
@jhunjhunwala Why are Indian filmstars more interested in premiering their films abroad, instead of premiering it first to us,the Indians?
@pritishnandy Coz Indian films sell almost 3 times more theatre tickets in a year than Hollywood films. Amazing but true.
BREAKING NEWS : VETERAN FILM PRODUCER PRITISH NANDY TO BE GIVEN DADASAHEB PHALKE AWARD FOR REPOSING FAITH IN INDIAN FILM INDUSTRY.RAHUL BOSE TO SHOW GRATITUDE BY ACTING IN FUTURE PYAAR KE SIDE EFFECTS SEQUELS FOR FREE.
@jhunjhunwala Our government keeps saying Pakistan must act,Kasab says he came to India to act in films,hmmm,what’s going on?
@pritishnandy Kasab began as a villain. Is now pretending to be a Marathi manoos. He has learnt his lines well.His handlers have played their role badly. They are no actors. Just plain jokers.
BREAKING NEWS : REHMAN MALIK DEMANDS EVIDENCE THAT KASAB IS AN ACTOR. SAYS NANDY IS USING TWITTER HANDLE TO TALK ABOUT PAK HANDLERS.
@jhunjhunwala Your company is called PNC but many Indians urinate on roadsides.So they basically Pee & See.Will the Peeing&Seeing ever stop?
@pritishnandy Only voyeurs pee n see. Normal folks pee n go. Get your habits checked out, mate. 2 much watching is psychologically damaging.
@jhunjhunwala I just made you say ‘Pee’.
@pritishnandy And I shall soon make you pee in your pants, hot shot fake stock broker.
@jhunjhunwala 'Make me pee in my pants',I laugh. Do you market whizzenators? Fake Baldy coz u r a head shaver!
BREAKING NEWS : NANDY CALLS JHUNJHUNWALA A ‘FAKE’.JHUNJHUNWALA TO FILE DEFAMATION CASE AGAINST NANDY.TRADERS SUPPORT JHUNJHUNWALA BY WEARING BLACK ARM BANDS. CANDLE LIGHT VIGIL IN SUPPORT OF JHUNJHUNWALA TO TAKE PLACE THIS WEEKEND DEMANDING ‘JUSTICE FOR JHUNJHUNWALA’ AS NANDY FLEES COUNTRY AFTER BAIL PLEA REJECTED.
@jhunjhunwala @mishrashiv asks : "When will you again feature in a Music Video?" & "Did you ever use Kunthalamritam Hair Oil?"
BREAKING NEWS : PRITISH UNCLE STAYS MUM ON QUESTION OF ACTING IN MUSIC VIDEOS.OFFERS NO COMMENT EITHER ON BRAND OF HAIR CARE PRODUCT USED.
@jhunjhunwala How many Britney bots are there in your ‘followers’ list.
@pritishnandy Lots. But I don't follow Britney bots. You do.
BREAKING NEWS : NANDY ADMITS TO BEING FOLLOWED BY BRITNEY BOTS. SEEKS POLICE PROTECTION. SAYS TOO MANY IN HIS FOLLOWERS LIST. IMPLIES INVOLVEMENT OF FOREIGN HAND.
@jhunjhunwala Obama got the Nobel Prize last year. Doesn’t our mutual friend Nabeel aka @softykid at least deserve a Nabeel Prize?
@pritishnandy Nabeel is everyone's first friend on twitter. @softykid deserves every award.
BREAKING NEWS :NABEEL GARNERS SUPPORT FROM HEAVYWEIGHTS JHUNJHUNWALA AND NANDY. GOVERNMENT PROMISES TO LOOK INTO PROPOSAL TO GIVE NABEEL EVERY AWARD.KAREENA KAPOOR CRIES FOWL, SAYS NABEEL’S AWARD SHOULD GO TO HER.DECIDES TO LOSE WEIGHT BY GOING FROM SIZE ZERO TO SIZE -1.
@jhunjhunwala I’m not for the politics of sport but 10 Pakistani players aren’t picked by the IPL.Their media raises a shitstorm.Why isn’t the same media outraged when they violated the ceasefire at the LOC 10 times alone this month?
@pritishnandy Simple. Pakistani players are our rivals, not our enemies. The Pakistani army is our enemy.
BREAKING NEWS : RIOTS IN LAHORE AFTER NANDY ACCUSES PAKISTAN ARMY OF BEING INDIA’S ENEMY.PAKISTANI PLAYERS TO BOYCOTT IPL 3 IN PROTEST.LALIT MODI TO UNFOLLOW NANDY FROM TWITTER FOLLOWING LIST.
@jhunjhunwala Be Harry asks “Bihar ka beta fighter aur Bangal ka beta writer.Y are U a fighter amongst writers & a writer amongst fighters”
BREAKING NEWS :NANDY REFUSES TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT BENGAL AND BIHAR.BOTH NITISH KUMAR AND BUDDHADEB BHATTACHARJEE BAN NANDY’S ENTRY INTO RESPECTIVE STATES.
@jhunjhunwala The Ambani brothers fight for gas,the case reaches the Supreme Court in months. Ruchika kills self after being molested.19 years later,case still in high court,Rathore still out on bail. Money+Power=Justice?
@pritishnandy People power eventually ensures justice. Jessica Lal. Nithari. Rathore. You cant escape once we know what you did last summer.Power of money is hugely over estimated. Like the power of size. What happened to Goliath?
BREAKING NEWS :NANDY ADMITS TO BEING FAN OF TEEN FLICK HORROR FILM FRANCHISE ‘I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER’.
@jhunjhunwala Last night RR Patil 3:16 http://bit.ly/6hfRHF snapped his fingers&100 terrorists died.Is he your favorite Home Minister EVER?
@pritishnandy Whats a 100 terrorists to a Home Minister who rendered 800 poor bar girls jobless! He can do anything.
BREAKING NEWS : NANDY LOOKS TO CAST RR PATIL IN UPCOMING FILM.
@jhunjhunwala ‘Lovestory 2050’ is the greatest film in the history of Indian cinema?What about Jungli Chudail-Return Of Chudail?
@pritishnandy Go buy stocks. Your choice of movies suck.
@jhunjhunwala Oh! looks like I have to buy PNC stock,tempting offer though.Movies that rock.
@pritishnandy Dont just buy me out. I have to earn a livelihood.
BREAKING NEWS :PNC STOCK CRASHES 70 PERCENT IN AFTERNOON TRADE AS JHUNJHUNWALA THREATENS BUYOUT OF PNC. NANDY FLIES INTO DAMAGE CONTROL MODE BY GIVING JHUNJHUNWALA A PACKET OF SAMOSAS .JHUNJHUNWALA DECIDES TO LEAVE PNC ALONE,SAYS HE WILL TARGET CNP INSTEAD.
@pritishnandy The difference between a truth and a half truth is usually so fine that the speaker himself often does not know.
BREAKING NEWS : NANDY ADMITS TO LYING ON TWITTER HANDLE. NATION OF BOLIVIA OUTRAGED. TO BOYCOTT ALL PNC PRODUCED FILMS RELEASING IN BOLIVIA THIS YEAR.
@pritishnandy Karkare’s jacket is hidden by those corrupt people who made money buying such useless jackets. It’s our shame.
@jhunjhunwala I agree for a change.
BREAKING NEWS : JHUNJHUNWALA AND NANDY SHAKE HANDS IN SHOW OF AWESOMENESS.WORLD LEADERS HAIL BOTH JHUNJHUNWALA AND NANDY.HISTORIC DAY TO BE HENCEFORTH CELEBRATED AS INTERNATIONAL JHUNJHUNWALA-NANDY DAY OF PEACE.
In all seriousness, I want to thank Pritish Uncle. This whole thing was a lot of fun. I asked him only once if he’d be interested in doing this and he agreed readily. He wasn’t snobbish or arrogant one bit. Easily he’s one of the friendliest people I’ve met on twitter. Definitely the most friendly celeb,without doubt.
Considering the fact that he refuses to do TV interviews this was pretty cool and he was sporting with this interview all the way.
Though sometimes, I still feel that he needs to change his Twitter DP because it looks like a printed ad from a glossy in flight magazine! But there are bigger problems in the world.
Thank you again Pritish uncle. Let’s hope we have a re-match someday.
Also a big thank you to my twitter pals: Nabeel for backstage assistance.
Surekha ‘Half Face’ Pillai who had fever the day of the interview but still gave out some awesome commentary. The half face should start doing commentary on a professional basis.
Netra Parikh for her networking help, feedback and enthusiasm. One day she will win an award and thank me in her acceptance speech.
Abhishek Asthana, Vikram Monika, Jay.M, Appu, Aashish and Sachin Kalbag for backstage help. They’ve not cleaned the arena after the match. I think I should fine them.
Shivam Vij, Aaman Lamba, Vaibhav ,S Gurujee for creating twitter lists for easy viewing and Retweets.These people are granted official listing rights for future broadcasts as well but they should first volunteer to take part in at least one Reality TV Show this year.
Shamit and Titto for their support as well. These two dream of one day building the world’s tallest tower. If they show me a comprehensive plan, I might finance it.
Harish Alwin Krishna Ahmed Harry and Blogadda for promotional support and feedback. The pirated version of this interview can also be found at Blogadda. These guys owe me money or at least a plate of Samosas.
If I missed out any names it’s because you people did not do enough to please me. Therefore you must be punished.
Most of all a big thank you to everyone who tuned in.
I Always Knew I Would Fight Pritish Uncle In A Steel Cage Match On Twitter. I Never Doubted It For A Minute.
