Monday, April 14, 2008

The Royal Western India Turf Club is Horsing Around

The Jackasses at the Royal Western India Turf Club (RWITC) are horse trading again with the BJR. Rahul Mallick is the head of this bunch and is a wily fellow. He's got each of the RWITC committee members eating out of his hand. As you probably know I own a part of the BJN Group and we have made a bid for the Gallops restaurant mainly because the food is horrendous. I actually lose weight eating there which should tell you something. The service is also terrible, some of the rude ones must have been trained in France while the rest are simply incompetent.

So the BJN Group placed a very high bid for the contract at Gallops which must have surprised the RWITC because the he scoundrel chairman of the RWITC Cyrus Poonawalla recently sent me an email questioning our high bid. Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a restaurant guru and I was never very good at cooking since I'm totally left-brained and would rather be served then serve, hence the small amount of weight gain, but I have been around businesses most of my life and I've always understood that a high bid usually wins a contract. But what do I know? Maybe things are different in the horse racing industry.

So I wrote back to him demanding he award us the contract and stop horsing around with the snakes at the BJR. I also demanded he set up a meeting and that I'd appear before the esteemed committee and plead the BJN case.

Poonawalla wrote back, "Let's get something straight. Like it or not, I'm the chairman. And like it or not, that means I make the decisions. If I say I want to examine your bid then I will. If you want a meeting, you set it up. And let me make you a promise right here and right now. If you get in my way, or if you try to screw with me, I will cut off your *@*#% and shove it where the sun don't shine or as we call it London. I hope you understand me?"

Now let me tell you what this is really all about. Cyrus Poonawalla thinks his days at the Mallick rupee trough are numbered if he awards the business to us. He's trying to find some loop hole to disqualify us in order to maintain his vaccine factory. Mallick has been supporting Poonawalla's efforts to create a super steroid serum to make his stable of horses faster and stronger. There is some evidence that it's starting to work because his horse Exhilaration had won a number of races but was retired early under questionable circumstances. Unfortunately, Cyrus has yet to find a horse to repeat Exhilaration's winning streak, so the super serum research must go on.

I know what you're wondering and no Poonawalla is not experimenting on the Gallops restaurant patrons. But I've made this contract award an issue and my personal crusade and I'm not going to quit until this kind of favoritism stops. I am serious. I urge everyone who is as outraged as I am to go here and email the RWITC board and let them know how angry you are.

- The Equine Master, Lord Jhunjhunwala
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