Thursday, April 10, 2008

A list that I am on Forbes #1062

Finally some recognition for all my hard work. As I have written before, the international media monkeys have largely ignored me and pretend that I do not exist simply because I haven't played their little games. Finally, after several years of disregarded Forbes finally showed some love. Tough love though because in order to get on the Forbes Billionaire list I had to pay off the Forbes editors which technically brought me under the billion net worth level which had they a brain would have knocked me off said list. Fortunately for me, run on sentences aren't a crime and that last one may have to be crossed out.

Now #9 sounds better than #1062 but no one wants to be #9 these days unless you like rooms with bars on them. While the billionaire list was a celebration of me, the editors pissed me off because they mention my smoking and drinking habits. Look at the rest of the 1000, no where is there a mention of their personal vices. The truth is the editors had just arrived at my office and were looking to partake in a drink to relax after a wild night of cow tipping (the bastards). Rumor has it the editors even tried to milk a few of them. So why would I want to get them drunk and have them defame some other Indian religious symbol.

Now reaching a billion in net worth was not easy and many have asked me whether it's enough. Worse, they ask me to give to charity because that's what Gandhi would do. Now I don't want to sound cocky, but I earned every rupee because I didn't listen to these damn people. They're fools that preach their socialistic agendas without any regard for the wealth creators who are truly helping the poor. If you want to make a difference in India, fine by me, but don't come running to me when the poor have spent all their money on useless crap instead of investing in their education.

So I'm not going to apologize for being wealthy. I want to make another billion and ram it up the SEBI nose. I call that charity for India. It's wonderful in fact dementedly brilliant!

- Jhunjhunwala #1062
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