Friday, December 5, 2008

The Jhunjhunwala Times Featured Article

Mini-J, (Special) Correspondent, The Jhunjhunwala Times

Noida, December 4, 2008

While the majority of the media chose to concentrate on the Mumbai Police fighting terrorists deep in the heart of Mumbai, a small minority of the media including ‘The Jhunjhunwala Times’ have also chosen to report the other devastating attack in the country, an attack in Agra that has left many brave policemen of the Noida Police Force injured.

The distinguished Noida Police which has won many state and international awards for its exceptional handling of the Aarushi Talwar murder case and the Moninder/ Surinder Children Kidnap + Molestation +Cannibalism Murder Case sprung early into action to prevent this terrorist attack unlike the Mumbai Police.Praising his force Chief Inspector Harpal Singh said “We had specific inputs about this attack and were prepared for it.”

Describing the events of November 26 in detail he said “We were investigating another case, somebody stole my Samosa and we had just launched an investigation into it, the forensic team was on its way to find the culprit when we received information that somebody had attacked the Taj, immediately we swung into action.”

He continued “We got our force ready and surrounded the Taj Mahal in Agra, One of my constables said that the Taj Mahal was a hotel and that it was in Mumbai. Immediately I told him that the Taj Mahal was one among the Seven Wonders of the World, it was built by Emperor Shah Jahan in memory of his wife and that it contained their tombs, it was definitely not a hotel.”

“When we got there, we evacuated the hostages and then discovered that members of the dangerous banned terror group Indian Cat Mujahideen had entered the main building of the Taj Mahal.”

“The cat terrorists were demanding the release of their leader Cat-Ul-Hasan whom we had captured earlier this year; however we refused and sent in our NOIDA Police Commandos to flush them out. At first we arrested Cat-Ul-Hasina who is the Intelligence Head of the Indian Cat Mujahideen.”

“The operation took longer than expected because one of the terrorists was shooting at us from the top of a minaret of the Taj.”

“But after subduing him, we moved quickly and arrested Cat-Ul-Hasan’s twin brother; the heavily armed Cat-Ul-Ali

Mr. Singh smiled and said “Now both the brothers are in our custody”

“Once we were inside a heavily armed cat fired at us. Surprisingly there is a Color TV inside the Taj”

“There were very few cat terrorists left but one in particular was firing at us continuously, it was the dangerous Cat-Ul-Khan.”

“We attracted Cat-Ul-Khan with a handful of Pedigree Cat Food and when he came near we captured him and after that all the terrorists were captured.”

On being asked if his police force feels under-appreciated after saving the Taj from the terrorists, he said “Definitely, Noida Police should be rewarded appropriately. We finished the situation in Agra in 20 minutes unlike the Mumbai Police which took sixty hours. In fact Noida Police should also be given responsibility of Mumbai. Our force is much better than the Mumbai Police. Just think how safe Mumbai will be when we take charge of the city.”

We also asked Mr. Singh how his force was able to get to the Taj Mahal within minutes of the attack; he had this to say “Speed is very important for the Noida Police; we used our Ultra Fast Bullock Carts. The bullocks pulling the carts are all raised under the Noida Police Cow and Bull Project, they are three times stronger and faster than the average Bull or Buffalo and ideal for pulling carts. We have also placed a new order for stronger carts and should get the same after government approval within a few months.”

Asked what his future plans are Mr. Singh said “It’s been a difficult week for me and my force. Noida Police never rests, we’ve immediately got back to work.”

The Jhunjhunwala Times also brought to the attention of the Noida police the case of people like Rashmi Bansal who has been calling national heroes like Rakesh Jhunjhunwala a “fake”. Her rant on the media has also helped this newspaper to persuade Noida Police to look into the matter.

On being asked about the above Mr.Singh replied “We will definitely look into it, Rashmi Bansal is a very dangerous person no doubt, and we have e-mailed her but have received no reply. But for the moment we are trying to solve another case. I can’t give too many details but it involves this rap singer called Lil’ Wayne.If we can find out what he’s singing in his video we can solve this case. All we understood was the word Lollipop.”

All in a days work for Noida Police.


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