Sunday, December 14, 2008

Rajo Devi Was Robbed

Every year hot chicks from across the planet meet in one country. For two months they live together and secretly hate each other. Then on one fine evening they wear fancy dresses and sing, dance and answer questions. It’s the world’s biggest reality show and it’s called the Miss World pageant.

It’s a very prestigious contest and every country including India takes pride in making sure that its entrant wins. The winner of this contest gets to smile a lot and wear a crown. The losers meanwhile get a free T-shirt and a ‘Thank You for Coming’ card.

This contest was held yesterday in South Africa and was won by Miss Russia. Our own Miss India was declared as the first runner-up which is incidentally the same thing as second place.

There is a lot of disappointment in India that Miss India is not Miss World.The country is in a state of chaos. National emergency may be declared at any moment. No one expected this as everyone was sure that Miss India would win the contest instead of coming in second.

In order to ease the situation I wrote a letter to the Miss World authorities to hold the contest again as the wrong candidate was sent in the first place:


Dear Miss World people,

I would firstly like to apologize for the sudden demise of Miss Zambezi Tanketi Bulma Ulawatoo Singa Punga Munga of sudden heart failure. My government should have warned you that inviting Navjot Singh Sidhu to judge the Miss World pageant was a dangerous idea. No one could have foreseen the fact that he would immediately start laughing the moment the host announced ‘Welcome to the 58th Edition of the Annual Miss World Pageant’. His high decibel laugh has regrettably caused Miss Zambezi’s death and sent another 52 contestants into a coma.

I am however glad that you have placed Navjot Sidhu under arrest.

I must ask you on the other hand to hold the Miss World contest all over again.

The reason being, winning the Miss World is a national issue for India especially for people like Shobhaa De and Karan Johar. We in India fear communal riots because of our contestant’s failure to win the contest.

We must note that choosing her to represent the country was a bad idea because she had no chance of winning in the first place.

She was chosen solely on the basis of this country’s Miss World reservation policy. Under our current laws Seventy five percent reservation is reserved for girls like her because they empower our domestic Silicone Implant and Botox Industries.

The actual candidate should have been the sexiest woman in India; 70 year old RAJO DEVI from Haryana. Rajo Devi despite being married should have been allowed to contest as she would have indeed won the contest.

The following are her achievements:

  • Rajo Devi is not only prettier than our second place winner Parvathy Omanakuttan but is also stronger. She is at the height of her physical fitness and her incredible stamina is astounding otherwise there could have been no way she could have given birth at age 70.
  • Rajo Devi’s waist size is lesser than the other Miss World contestants. She has been able to achieve this because she has trained very hard at the Haryana Institute Of Beauty Pageantry.

  • She is an Indian icon because she has helped in increasing the country’s population beyond 1 billion.

  • Many countries are facing economic recession and have shut down their production plants but India is still growing because our production activities are still strong as proved by Rajo Devi. We are still #1 in producing human beings.

  • Even our manufacturing units like Bala Ram at age 72 is capable of powering our baby manufacturing industry because our strong infrastructure is the best for producing babies. Millions like Bala Ram train in the Indian Tradition to power our Production and Manufacturing sector.

Therefore, please declare the recently held Miss World contest void and start over again with Rajo Devi as India’s contestant.

Yours Truly,

Rakesh Jhunjhunwala,

13 Time Mr. Universe, Planet and World winner in addition to being SEBI ‘Investor of the Year’ from 1983.

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