As an investor, I often have to make my investments according to the type of government in power.So how is it that I buy shares only of companies I expect to do well under a certain type of government? It’s simple because I always know which party will be in power.My information is based on a simple theory. There is a man on NDTV who appears only when there is an election called Dorab Sopariwala.
Dorab is someone who studies elections on a daily basis and makes predictions based on them and for his efforts gets paid by NDTV 24/7 and NDTV 12/3 and a half.If Dorab says that the Congress party will win an election then I immediately prepare for a BJP victory.If Dorab says that the BJP will win then I prepare for a CONGRESS victory.
In simple words, when Dorab says that something will happen I prepare for the EXACT OPPOSITE of that, that way I’m never wrong.
Most recently, Dorab ran his mouth and said that in Delhi Sheila Dikshit would lose but the moment he said that, I invested in Delhi companies that are favored by the Congress party and I made money as usual.People including Dorab are surprised Sheila Dikshit won; I’m not thanks to Dorab.
There is a word to describe people like Dorab and it’s a combination of two words which are ASS and HOLE.
THINKING ABOUT THIS WORD I tried to think about the other types of holes and found many like:
A Man Hole:
A Snake Hole:
A Dog Hole:
A Golf Hole:
A Ground Hole:
An Eyehole:
And Even An ASSHOLE:
My appreciation for holes is shared by a Kannada film actor called Upendra who is my new best friend. He acted in a film which has a song called ONLY HOLE sung by Udit Narayan.
Being a Gujarati in Mumbai I don’t understand Kannada so I asked my good friend the Karnataka Chief Minister B.S.Yeddiyurappa to translate the lyrics of this song into English.
He did it for me and also gave me the accompanying video on youtube.Such a nice man. Everybody watch it and sing along.
Something Something has happened (X 4 times).
Only HOLE…..Only HOLE…..Only HOLE…. Only HOLE
MTV for Subalakshmi is Only HOLE….Only HOLE,
Zee TV for Madegowda is Only HOLE…Only HOLE,
Without CENSOR show everything,
Like Channel V you must work eh fellow, eh fellow.
Yay, MTV for Subalakshmi is Only HOLE….Only HOLE,
Zee TV for Madegowda is Only HOLE…Only HOLE,
Without CENSOR show everything,
Like Channel V you must work eh fellow, eh fellowwww.
Ah ah ah ah,la la la la la la la.
Why is he coming after me repeatedly? chee!
You don’t love him, yes you do, yes you do.
From husband you are hiding everything,
But for friend you are showing Baywatch.
Within house it is top ten..ooo.
Within the bar it is fountain..ooo.
Outside it’s super show,
Inside it’s horror show,
This is only Midnight Masala, girlie.
Only HOLE, Only HOLE.
MTV for Subalakshmi is Only HOLE….Only HOLE,
Zee TV for Madegowda is Only HOLE…Only HOLE,
Without CENSOR show everything,
Like Channel V you must work eh fellow, eh fellowwww.
Something Something has happened X 4 times.
BPL ooh la la,
Are you coming to Khandala?
Sun TV is your choice,
In the eyes lovely scene.
Citi channel,lovely melodies ,
But I am Udaya TV also.
Only HOLE….Only HOLE.
Yay, MTV for Subalakshmi is Only HOLE….Only HOLE,
Zee TV for Madegowda is Only HOLE…Only HOLE,
Without CENSOR show everything,
Like Channel V you must work eh fellow,eh fellowwww.
Something Something has happened, every thing has happened (x 4).
ONLY HOLE is my favorite song from today. Everybody sing ONLY HOLE.
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14 POST a COMMENT:
Rakeshji,
you have to make use of the photo in this post in one of your forthcoming posts
http://churumuri.wordpress.com/2008/12/08/all-in-the-family-appa-amma-and-muddu-maga/
Only you can do justice to it
Sahi botai, sahi boltai....
RJ,
Seriously, the same thing was being joked upon our lunch tables yesterday... the news channels spend so much money / efforts on 'psephologists' [I think] and the result in my last few years of viewing has been consistently incorrect.
Even the exit polls are ZERO.
Bade Bhai, the hole photos are cool.
Friends, Rakesh has pointed out that elections are on its way and buy stocks of mass communicaion - NDTV, ZEE, SUN ... Thanks Rakesh I will follow.. Ca. Ritul Patwa
SirG,
It seems now we will have as many Stock Exchanges (INDEX) like as many Political parties, as many different TV channels and as many Election Psephologists. One when Pak arrests LET leaders, One for $15bn Auto Bail out and One for each possible event.
Vinod Agarwal - Index benchmarks or unofficial Bookies finding meaning at new search engine KOSMIX. (google challenger)
First time here, and I loved it! :)
Hilarious! :D
hilarious as usaul :))
SirG,
Now that Haule is released How big are the Holes, to be seen at the end of the weekend.
Vinod Agarwal - Theatres filling Haule Haule.
I'm a new fan of this blog... Seems Cyrus is copying content from this one for his "week that wasn't" on ibn. Or is it the other way around... [:D]
Anonymous,
You want me to deal out to Kumaraswamy the same treatment I delivered to the great Deve Gowda?
PM Saab,
Thank you sirji,Aisa bolna humne secular sardar se hi seekha hai.
Anonymous#2,
Psephologist is a fancy term for BAD ASTROLOGER.
Ca.Ritul,
Not mass communication but MASS MISCOMMUNICATION.
Mirror cracked,
Why is the mirror cracked?
Creative Shocker,
"As usual",what does thou mean?
Johns,
Cyrus can never copy this as it's a SECRET JOURNAL protected by SEBI and the Finance Minister and as secure as the Mumbai Coastline.
Vinod,
Two comments on the same post!!What is happening? First the Parliament is united and now this.Now I will sing Haule Haule and act in the remix.
Rakesh- still answers Vinod's questions with only one footnote.
I think you forgot to mention the name of the great SHANKAR SHARMA......he too has this uncanny ability to predict the exact opposite of what is going to happen the market. When he said the market will reach 25000 ,it sky dived to 8000 and now he is saying the market will sell of further to 5000 -6000.Most of his cynics would know what he actually means.Well this is just one of the many examples which make him another addition to your HOLE OF FAME>>>>>>>>
Pixiu,
Hole of fame or HOLE OF SHAME?
HaHaHaHaHaHa........rightly put sir.....his very own SHAMELESS HOLE OF SHAME !!!!!!!!!!!
Pixiu,
Now you get it,well done!
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