Someone from Jet Airways forwarded this to me. It’s a letter from Dr.Vijay Mallya to the ex-employees of Jet Airways.
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Dear fired Jet employee,
You must be wondering why I’m writing this letter to you instead of Naresh Goyal. After all he was the one who fired you, not me .But, you must realize that since yesterday I’ve been doing Naresh’s work and Naresh has been doing mine.I’ve never liked Naresh Goyal, In fact I’ve always wished that Goyal would GO AWAY.
My dislike for Naresh has been so much that I started my own airline company called Kingfisher Airlines just to upset Naresh and his Jet Airways. After this I started charging exorbitant prices for my plane tickets. To keep up with the competition Naresh did the same thing. As a result of this ordinary people started to travel by train instead of plane.
Both our airlines started to lose cash which is when we decided to come together. Naresh Goyal is today My New Best Friend. Freaky huh!
It was a ‘Good Business Decision’ to become friends with Naresh. There is an economic crisis of some sort going on which suits me fine because I can then use that as an excuse to tell people why my airline is doing so badly.
People have been unable to realize that my airlines has lost even more money than Jet Airways . This is because as a billionaire I’ve been putting my cash in other places.I’ve invested heavily in the swimsuit calendar making industry. I am probably the only man who has been unable to sell photos of half naked sexy women because despite selling these calendars at a very cheap price, people have been downloading them for free off the internet.
I have also lost a lot of money because I was busy buying cricket teams which will never win .My advisors like Charu Sharma failed to tell me that the IPL is a 20/20 format and not a Test Cricket championship. I have of course fired him but I am still stuck with Wasim Jaffer and Sunil Joshi wearing sunglasses and singing ‘Royal Challengers Ka Josh Hain’.
While all of this was going on I also lost money on a car racing team. Once again Charu Sharma told me that by buying an F1 racing team and spending millions of dollars in changing its name to ‘Force India’, I would be able to make money. Once again Charu was wrong because my F1 team either fails to start a race or fails to finish a race because my stupid drivers keep crashing my Million Dollar cars.
All these losses have been compounded by my purchase of another airline company called Air Deccan which was offering free tickets. The losses they suffered had to be borne by me and therefore I lost even more money.
So when Naresh Goyal finally met me and asked if I too was having a liquidity problem?
I said what liquidity problem? I own the UB Group!
My financial advisors then reminded me that Liquidity Problems in financial terms referred to losses which I was having plenty of.
Therefore I joined hands with my new best friend Naresh Goyal. I’m very sorry that you people lost your jobs but you see listening to Charu Sharma is harmful to your bank balance.
I propose that we discuss this situation in a civilized way. All of you have resorted to asking Raj Thackeray for his help.
I request you not to do that. I’m scared of him. The last guy who messed with him ended up in hospital.
Cheers,
Dr.Vijay Mallya.
13 COMMENT:
Dear Rakesh
I agree.
It was Charu's fault!
Does he have anything to do with the current sen-sex meltdown as well?
How come you are privy to such classified info that the barkha dutts and rajdeep sardesais of the world do not have?
Why not start a 24X7 news channel?
Amazing .. and you get the relevant photographs too .. Mallya was busy in doing what CHaru advised .. and poor Charu was concerned what Mandira would think of his each move ..
Maybe Mallya should get Mandira to pose for his 2009 calendar, what say???
Kailas,
Charu is responsible for many things including the sensex's senseless meltdown.
Remember that I am a news maker while Barkha and Rajdeep are news breakers,which is why all the info is with me.
Amit,
If Mandira poses in the next calendar then the VHP will get pissed.They're already angry with her.Mandira doing anti-mandir things is not good.
If Charu is responsible for the sensex's senseless meltdown... i think u all of the stock market pundits(?)should take help of Sarkar Raj Thackeray. Follow his civilized way to correct Charu's fault and bring back market from path of senselessness.
Raj charges for his help.The MNS is an ISO 566876576876 rated organization in creating problems,that's why the traders don't go to him.
Dear Rakesh,
As who so ever u might be wt posses u i know u will be bullish on india because it but natrual move when india were 32% of total world Gdp and today usa as we r almost 100% opposite naturelly to them it is logical to be bullish on india and baerish on Usa but till time our banker dont give 1INR=1usd till we can not decouple india from Dow BAba but if 1990-2008 Inr 30-50-39-50 then hope 2050 till u will be warren buffet of the world not of india but it is very good to know your social deed plus urs way of life if u r only recipant of this reply I dont know and i know no nobody can beat u in mkt but pariwarten is rule of nature as u must be welll versued with this pharse
Rakesh,
How do you get time for writing blogs man? And finding all the relevant photos and news articles and stuff.....guess after the markets started plummeting,investors dont have much work to do...haha..just kidding...
Anyways,I like your sense of humour.
Somewhat like mine.
---- Aniruddh
( http://heylookwhoshere.blogspot.com/ )
Vivek,
I am unable to understand your written language.I think you mistook my blog for an SMS message.
aj,
It's not humor,it's the truth.Why does your name have 2 d's.Do you add more letters because your numerologist told you so?
My dear Rakesh,
Double 'd' represent the sound of 'ddh' as in the name of 'buddha'(God),whereas single 'd' will represent the sound of 'dh' as in the spelling of 'gadha'(donkey).Hope thts clear!
PS: I hate numerologists ever since Ekkkkkkta kkkkKapoor started using them for her "K" saga.Theres anyways now a dearth of them outside Mumbai EKKKKTTAAAAAA'ssss office !
Aniruddh with 2 d's,
I thought Gadha meant mace as in Bhima's weapon but you want to be Buddha and not Bhima.If you are Buddha how can you hate ekta,Buddha loves everyone and preached about Ekta.
I am right.End of discussion.
I forgot to mention previously that I am an "IITain" and hence that by definition makes me intellectually superior than investors.You CANNOT question my intellectual prowess.You're just not entitled to do so.You just can't.Sorry!
PS : You might like to argue that IIT B people clapped for you. Well,IITians like to be entertained once in a while and hence they call entertainers with much less IQ than them to talk about their experiences and give those guys a false ego boost(by clapping and all),just so that they can laugh at them later in their dorm rooms.hahhaha....
And btw....its a "gada" and not a "gadha".......sorry bheem never carried a donkey on his back ,leave alone use a donkey as his weapon....hahhahha....
I almost burst out laughing on tht one.....
Aj,
How can you be 'right' when your name is AJ.Are you right or AJ?I guess you are confused because You can't figure out the difference.
My intention is not to question your intellect and I don't need to.Many IITians anyway do double work for me at half the price and I take credit for their work.
And if you guys like to be entertained by listening to speeches then God help you.Good luck finding a girlfriend,must get really lonely in the dorm!
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