Since I am a famous man who is also rich and is famous for being rich I get invited a lot to give speeches and presentations. I go to these things because I get some free publicity and invariably after every speech and presentation I get to hear people who are less smarter than me clap at the things I just said.
Yesterday I gave a presentation at IIT Bombay (read Mumbai if you’re Raj Thackeray or Orange Guy).IIT Bombay organizes these cultural festivals which are supposed to ‘enlighten and empower’ their young students. I give presentations at IIT Bombay because many of their students are convinced that I am a ‘revolutionary leader’ and a ‘brilliant mind’ which I am but if they think that then it makes it easier for me to hire them to work for me at lower salaries.
So I gave a presentation on the global financial turmoil at IIT Bombay’s AVENUES cultural festival. I used Microsoft PowerPoint to show my slides because I am powerful and I need to make a point. As the slides changed I drank coke. I used big terms like ‘regulation’ , ‘liquidity’ ,’growth’,’ bull run’ and ‘India story’.
The students of IIT Bombay clapped and gave me a standing ovation. Pleased with this, I decided to answer a few questions.
Q: Sir, do you think that the US bailing out its banks with 700 billion dollars and the RBI bailing out Indian mutual funds with 20,000 Crore is a good thing?
A: It is a wonderful act of human kindness. People with very little money will part with whatever little they have left by paying higher taxes in order to provide rich people with 700 billion dollars and 20,000 crores. Such acts of selflessness should be rewarded with a free Colgate Toothbrush.
Q: How will you avoid paying higher taxes?
A: I have registered myself as a farmer under the Farm Loan Waiver Scheme. I do not have to pay any taxes or loans. In fact I can legally charge the government to pay me tax or repay any loans I have or will take.
Q: Do you think that India’s expensive moon mission ‘Chandrayaan’ has caused high inflation?
A: I fail to understand why the government wants to spend billions of dollars to study the moon’s surface. My research shows me that the moon’s surface is filled with potholes and craters. Such potholes and craters can be studied on many Indian roads which are naturally endowed with potholes and craters.
Q: Are you planning to invest in Sri Lanka?
A: Yes, I have been mightily impressed with the Colombo stock exchange. I have full faith that my investments in Sri Lanka will be safe. If the value of my investment starts to drop I can always appeal to the DMK because it is the only party willing to bring down the Indian government at the cost of saving Sri Lanka.
Q: Which industry do you see as the next big thing in India?
A: The mining industry IS going to be the next big thing because companies will be manufacturing specialized equipment to rescue children who have fallen into deep trenches, holes and bore wells.
Q: What do you think of Himesh Reshammiya?
A: That guy is a genius. People don’t realize their watching the exact same movie as he acted in was made 30 years earlier and is now available on DVD for a third of the price of the movie ticket + he sings through his nose and adds extra letters to his film titles. I’m off to watch his latest film. Bye!
17 COMMENT:
Rakesh ji ,I really love to read your blog... with a hint of humor you make it much more easier.
Satish,
Humor!?
I speak the truth,what you don't believe me?
SirG,
eYe eYe Tea is served at Tea centre Churchgate again. SirG why would you have to beat the traffic at Powai to swim and reach at IIT for a cup of tea (new brand ambassador of COKE), unless of course like the BigB they have sponsored you a Helicopter.
I believe in the time you reached there and made a presentation of THANK YOU you would have earned enough by SHORT SELLING to the FII to buy out the IIT/IIM's of India.
Power Point and Coke a new Merger...?
About the Mumbai Factor let us leave this for MNS SS and NCP to decide what they want to call it AAMCHI Tumchi MUMBAI.Unless they decide to make BSE as MSE.
I pray ISRO has calculated that the Chandra Yaan will reach Moon after Diwali Amavasya and it finds the moon...
not withstanding the inflation helped it to fly.
Like Pakistan I believe Sri Lanka is getting jitters they will soon become invisible on the economic Map of America.
SirG, I understand DVD costs only about Ten rupees but please think and have pity about PVR INOX ADLABS Pyramid Saimira Cinemax and Fame allow them also to get a good market Capitalisation.
Vinod Agarwal - Awaiting free waiver, job in the mining industry (nose digger) or at least a Colgate toothbrush.
It is good morning but scarce on mkt so sir after 6287 it is 2870 most probable level it is only 1940-870, 4000-2870 your IIt seminaar only question which some future alumini of IIt the only guy among those stupid students who asked a question and u replied mining but it was the sector which u hardly look for u always been luxerious prefered stocks recent pantallon ,air deccan,even mally saab I am just 29 yrs of age and even not no the stock mkt before 2003 but this much i know no body in my group is in mkt after 21 st dec nifty@6000 almost because mkt advanced one complete cycle on price chart to the time so we take caution and came out and today we r happy now again @8500 on sensex we staret looking good stocks but I am very surprice that great brain of india was enjoying your tricky humour as one of earlier follower of yours blog it is always a teaching in the words of guru let it him be the any mood u always learn from him i dont say i am eklaby and u guru dron but i just telling that how indian r just heading towards(bein early )they dont know wt india story is here 1Inr =40 doller time frame 2050 is is nature and it is repaeting just after 500 yrs of time during moghle and east india empire So sir I know u r will be the richest person of this universe and indian government will seek your advice as now days most congressman take advice from Buffet
I believe that's a pic of a classroom in IIM Calcutta and not IIT Bombay.
IamSam
What do you think about the services industry in India ? Do you think that Indians can create good global hospitality companies?
Vivek,
Were you listening to Shankar Mahadevan's breathless when you were writing?I am so tired after reading your comment.Maybe I will jump into a big hole and increase the value of the mining industry.
You are sam,
The difference between IIT and IIM are the letters T and M.Both institutions share the same campus.
Anonymous,
Hospitality is our benchmark.We love foreigners.Institutions like Bajrang Dal and MNS treat foreigners with great respect.They are the pioneers in the Global Hospitality industry.
Vinod,
If power point and coke merged ,It would be called powercoke.Would you drink powercoke?
Chandrayaan will hit the moon after amavasya according to Bejan Daruwalla but the India TV round man says it will hit it 15 days later.Whom to believe?
As far as the DVD goes,forget Inox and Saimira.I watched Karzzz even before it was made.I saw the pirated DVD made in China.
Rakesh - "I love China".
SirG,
You are GODzi...!!!
vinod Agarwal - Hindi chini Bhai Bhai..!!
Vinod,
On Diwali day,will you burst crackers for real or virtually on onkia mobiles OS?
Rakesh -Likes to ask questions
hi Rakesh, I duno if you already have written any books on the Stock Market...if not do you plan to write any...ofcourse something other than your recommendations to the Indian Government
Hi Rakeshji,
I think even if you weren't such a successful investor you would definitely have made a great great writer. I haven't read a better blog than this. This blog just surpasses superlatives!
Regards,
-Kartik
SirG,
The Phataka has gone Phuss this Diwali. So did the 2G network.
Vinod Agarwal - Happy watching SAmvat 2065 on CNBC repeat telecasts.
Sujit,
I plan to write a book in future called "how to plan to write a book in future".
Kartik,
You recognize my genius.You must be awarded with BCCI appreciation shield.
Vinod,
From 3g to 2g.You need help from SirG.
Rakesh- acted and starred in Samvat 2065.
I'm still laughing at the moon surface - India road comparison. Very funny!
Anonymous,
We build indian roads by lifting and replanting the moon's surface.Why do you think Chandrayaan has gone there?
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