Tuesday, September 9, 2008

WHAT ? KP got Bail !

The Indian Judicial System is a prime example in Shakespearean Drama. It gives orders to ensure the arrest of the wrong people but has no problem in letting the real criminals go. Somehow Indian Courts are more than convinced when a bonafide criminal presents absolutely no evidence that he is not guilty but is still let off rather than when somebody absolutely innocent presents a ton of material to prove his innocence but is instead convicted.

It’s really not a surprise because Indian courts are headed by judges who have spent a lifetime in settling cases of the Reliance family. Most Reliance cases go one way only. Anil wants something; suddenly Mukesh wants the same thing. Then the courts decide who gets what. One of the brothers is ready with the right to refuse and the other goes to Mummy Kokilaben crying.

One brother says ‘Mere Paas First Right Of Refusal Hai’ and the other says ‘Mere Paas Maa Hai’.

Kokilaben is caught in a tangle to decide who gets what.

Half the Indian Judicial System is comprised of cases where one of the Ambani brothers is suing the other over something they both don’t need. Judges are extremely stressed by listening to these cases where one party is almost always represented by the creator of the Jessica Lall Sardarji: Mr.Ramjethmalani.

No wonder they make stupid decisions like giving bail to scamsters like Ketan Parekh (KP).

Back in 2000, people said that I no longer possessed the ability to pick shares of companies that would rise rapidly. They said that KP did it better than anyone else. They called him the ‘GOD’ of the market. If KP bought something, they bought the same thing. If KP ate idli for breakfast, they ate idli for breakfast. If KP called Aftab Shivdasani the greatest actor of all time, they called Aftab Shivdasani the greatest actor of all time.

There’s no way I’d ever believe that a guy who called Aftab Shivdasani the greatest actor of all time could pick the right stocks.

And I was proved right. KP borrowed money from a co-operative bank which co-operated with him and gave him 1000 Crore. He used that money to push the value of his shares but the stupid shit forgot to do the one thing I do better than anyone else: SELL AT THE RIGHT TIME.

What happened then? He lost the money, lost the shares and finally got his filthy ass thrown in jail.

His arrest sent the market down which is when I made my move. I bought all my shares at throwaway prices and sold them four years later when they peaked to officially get the title I always knew I’d get from Forbes magazine.

“The World’s 52nd Richest Man (Officially, Unofficially # 1)”

Now the courts have gone ahead and granted KP bail so that he can stay out of jail. Investors need not fear because Jhunjhunwala is here. I pushed the SEBI after his scam in 2000-01 to BAN him from ever trading in any Indian market EVER AGAIN.

That’s a lesson for anyone who wants be the heir to my throne. There is only one king of the Sensex and he became king by never doing what Jokers like KP did.

His name is Rakesh Jhunjhunwala and he rules, bitches.

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