Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Singh is King Thanks To A Humble Stock Broker

The Prime Minister called me and thanked me for all the support I gave him in the New Delhi Derby. The media monkeys have renamed it as the Trust Vote or Confidence Motion .For them an event like this is worth its weight in diamonds. Hollering about Aarushi Talwar and inflation for a period of two months has left them desperate for some different news.

Everyone from Prannoy Roy to Rajdeep Sardesai to Udayan Mukherjee is wondering how the Prime Minister managed to win the vote with 275 MP’s. What they will never find out is that a certain stock broker in Mumbai engineered the whole deal behind the deal.

The nuclear deal was simply a pretext for him to get rid of the Communists.

His continued forecast of an unstable political climate and slogans of ‘High Inflation’ shouted from rooftops of the BSE and the NSE led to panic selling by ordinary mortals. This automatically brought down the Sensex which in turn allowed him to pick up 5 star quality shares at throwaway prices.

When he realized that the left was pissed off with a certain nuclear deal, he told the Prime Minister to keep beating around the bush. The nuclear speculation along with rumors of going to the IAEA led to many communists suffering from insomnia, impotence and amnesia while the communist women were reduced to hysterical bouts of insanity as an attack on the communist ideology by the nuclear deal was unthinkable.

The day the Prime Minister went to the IAEA was the same day the broker had used his Reliance connections to get the two Singh’s Amar and Mulayam to pledge their allegiance to the government. People are still figuring out how the Samajwadi Party came to support the government the same day the left withdrew. Obviously they don’t know what I know.

The next few days saw the Sensex fall even further which allowed him to buy even more shares at throwaway prices.

Meanwhile all the loose characters in the Indian democracy were busy running around getting airports named, renamed and cancelled. Certain female leaders spread their MAYAJAAL and wanted to be the Prime Minister. The other fellows who supported her obviously missed the fact that ‘Behenji’ can never be PM because she has only 17 MP’s.

Over time it became clear that the UPA would indeed survive. The Sensex started to pick up. This allowed the broker to sell some of what he had bought earlier for huge profit margins.

On the day of the vote the communists pulled a fast one by having three BJP MP’s bring in bundles of money and parading it in front of the house accusing the UPA of giving it to them. The plan was obviously to cancel the trust vote. Unluckily for them the broker had expected a stunt like this which is why he had in his pocket the Speaker of the house who decided to push the motion in spite of corruption charges.

The rest as some people say is history.

The UPA government won ,the nuclear deal went through and the political climate has changed from unstable to stable which will lead to the Sensex rising even more allowing the broker to sell all that he had bought when the climate was unstable.

The broker’s Reliance friends are now in the government which is good for him. The communists are gone which is EXCELLENT.

The only problem is he will have to meet future cabinet ministers like Pappu Yadav and Syed Shahbuddin in jail.

No problem for him though. The broker is a genius. One of the unsung heroes of the Indian democracy.

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