Sunday, May 24, 2009

What About Them?

What a farce! The Congress party has absolutely no regard for the people of this country. They’ve made the wrong people ministers in the cabinet. Even if the right people are there, they’re doing the wrong jobs. So much for good governance.

These are the people who should be in the cabinet being the ministers they should be:

The Honorable Professor Arindam Chaudhuri as Finance Minister:

Abilities: Expert chicken counter as illustrated in his book ‘Chicken Counting before Chickens Hatch’.

Master filmmaker, will theatrically represent important government policy like the budget and the five year plans in movie format as last seen in a film he wrote, produced and directed.


Featuring Sunny Deol as ‘Renegade Roadie Biker’ :

This Dude:

Girl from the film in which Pappu cannot dance with SALAA:

Voter Appeal: Arindam Chaudhuri has a ponytail which is usually found at the beginning of a pony’s ass. His ponytail is rebellious thus influencing the urban vote bank as urban people think that he’s metrosexual.

On the other hand he maintains his ponytail with the use of castor oil. A product made from castor seeds which are grown in rural farmlands. Thus his ability to integrate a rural product like castor oil with an urban product like a ponytail makes him an obvious voter favorite.

Obvious Question: Does he know anything about Finance?

Ans: Yes, he’s from IIPM which according to IIPM is better than every institute which is not IIPM.

Minister for Family Affairs: Dr.Calendar MK Karunanidhi.

Abilities: Usually called ‘Kalaignar’ in Tamil but pronounced as CALENDAR. Ability to be the only Octogenarian in the country who is still sexy by virtue of his black goggles.

Young face of the UPA, able to attend party meetings in the new ultra radical wheel chair model ‘Wheel master 6000 with Hyper Surround sound system™ ’.

Suited for the ministry because:

He knows the value of family better than anyone else. Why else has he made son #2 from wife #2 the head of the DMK?

He also loves son#1 from wife #2 which is why he wants to make him a Cabinet Minister.

For some time son #1 from wife #2 was sad, he acted in a few Hindi films. He bravely portrayed his own mental trauma as a child as illustrated in his inspirational performance as ‘TINKU’ in ‘GOPI KISHAN’.

For further assistance please watch this video which reconstructs the pain of being MK Azhagiri.

(Note :The complete mental agony of the child can be felt only if you replace the words ‘Baap’ and ‘Daddy’ with the word ‘MAA’)

Women are important family members which is why daughter #1 from wife #3 is also about to become a Cabinet Minister.

Calendar also wants nephew to become minister. It’s a family affair!

Minister Of Defence: Didi Mamata Banerjee.

Abilities: India’s most well developed weapon system. In case of war all you have to do is say ‘Nano’ in its ear and it will explode at the enemy.

Voter appeal: Come On! She’s Anti Communist.

Obvious Question:Where did you find a photo of Mamata Banerjee smiling?

Ans:It was captured by Alien Technology in 1976.

Anbumani Ramadoss, Health Minister.

Oh shit, now who’s going to tell Shah Rukh Khan to stop smoking?

Shri. HD Deve Gowda, Minister for recreation and rest.

Abilities: would any day kick Barack Obama’s ass in an election. Yes he can.

Ability to take rest while boring speeches in parliament are going on.

Minister for Women’s Rights, Shrimati Rakhi Sawant.

Would suit the job especially after the launch of her civil rights movement against the forcible kissing of women by Daler Mehendi’s brother.

I hope somebody does something about these people. Their rights have been ignored.

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