Wednesday, May 13, 2009

16 May

Back in 2004, I was way too busy preparing myself for The Great Indian Bull Run. I knew that when it happened I would eventually end up a SUPER BILLIONAIRE (a super billionaire is a billionaire many times over.)

Now this was the only reason why I was unable to prevent the damn COMMUNISTS from coming into power and supporting the government.

But now that’s it 2009 I’ve personally made sure that the stupid hammer and sickle makers won’t have any influence in forming the next government.

As everyone knows May 16 is counting day. By the time the clock hits 12 midnight that day the country will know which poor sucker has to deal with the next series of droughts,floods,earthquakes,swine flu, chicken flu, bird flu, human flu, reservation rows, farmer suicides, NOIDA Police, the CBI, Barack Obama,Zardari,China,The Supreme Court and Terrorist bomb blasts.

Personally I don’t care whether the next government is a BJP led one or Congress led one as long as it’s not supported by the communists.

Now the Congress party has been saying that Rahul Gandhi is cool. Now I’m not in the least bit impressed by the little jackass. Our country has many Gandhi’s – Sonia Gandhi, Priyanka Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi, Varun Gandhi, Maneka Gandhi, etc.

If we could get rid of all these Gandhis and trade them for Mahatma Gandhi our country would be a lot better off.

The Gandhis are also fighting between themselves.Varun Gandhi likes to cut the hands of Muslims he is now a superhero called HINDU-MAN.

Rahul Gandhi on the other hand won’t hang Muslim terrorists. He is also a superhero called MUSAL-MAN.

While the Gandhis are fighting themselves, Uttar Pradesh which has not seen electricity, education or good roads is now seeing nude pictures of Jaya Prada.

Yuck!! Like anybody needed to see that. At least the people of Uttar Pradesh should thank their stars that they aren’t seeing nude pictures of Amar Singh and Mulayam Singh Yadav. This is what is known as true development.

The human rights donkeys in our country activise that women are not treated well. As usual they’re filled with buffalo crap because no other country in the world respects women the way we do. Everyone knows that without our mothers and sisters we can’t have a government. This is why Amma Ji and Behenji have so many worshippers.

Meanwhile the communists are putting up a third front. Someone else is putting up a fourth front. Another is putting up a fifth front. My driver is currently trying to form the 72nd front.

Many of the traders on the BSE are busy trying to form the 191st front in the country. But don’t worry no matter how many FRONTS are there in our elections all of them have only One Back Side. It looks like this because ‘UNITED WE STAND AND DIVIDED WE CRAP’.

But on 16th May, the media monkeys and the Pigeon Heads will be very happy because this once in many years event (or whenever the Election Commission decides) for them is better than sex or watching India win the World Cup or being a Billionaire.

That which is reborn will rejoice to this song ‘20 Inch’ by Cutty Ranks and Kobra Khan.

Let the games begin.

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