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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The 28 Year Journey



Back in 1983 I was a young Chartered Accountant. Out of Sydenham College Bombay, It was a different time. I’d hang around the Bombay Stock Exchange which was then a temple without a God. Like a barren colossus it stood on Dalal Street waiting everyday for its ruler.  I was not as rich as I am today. I wasn’t a billionaire a billion times over. I wasn’t the World’s 993rd Richest Man but then as now I remain the world’s sexiest, most humble, charismatic, sexiest (again), strongest, bravest human being to have ever walked this planet.

But back then I already knew what I continue to know today – I Always Knew I Was Going To Be Rich, I Never Doubted It For A Minute.

Point is that in 1983 when I was still a virtual unknown, no one gave me a shot at becoming the God of the markets. They laughed at me; they ridiculed me, called me names and said that a guy like me could never make it big on Dalal Street.

These days those very same people bow down and salute me. They stand in line one by one and chant my name out of everything from respect to adoration to honor to even contempt and envy and they wonder. Amazement drips from their brains trying to comprehend how this simple boy from Bandra went on to become the biggest ass kicker in the history of the stock markets .My greatness even had a mustache during that period.


A lot of things happened in the 80’s but there’s one event which stands out in my memory like a crystal clear fountain in a sandy desert. This one:


I saw Kapil Dev lift India’s first World Cup In 1983 on a small black and white television. Mumbai partied wild that night. We were out on the streets gobbling golgappas, vada pavs and samosas outside the Bombay Stock Exchange. There was liquor too, not the fancy kind we see today, just the regular good old desi daru.

28 years later, just like millions across the country I watched a similar moment. A different captain, a different team at a different time but what I felt was similar – Absolute bloody Nirvana!!!!!

We’ve been partying in INDIA ever since. The night of the victory I was at the Taj along with the rest of the Indian Team. We partied like crazy!!!!! I mean – CRAZY!!!!!

Have you ever seen God with a World Cup? No? Well, here’s what it looks like:


Wait, let me show you again:


Sachin and the entire team thanked ME for being such a great inspiration to them. Dhoni told me that it was my faith in them that led them to believe that they could indeed become World Champions.

I Am Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Happy That WE ARE THE WORLD CHAMPIONS…….RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Since April 2nd India has been partying. That legendary night of April 2nd,we partied so hard that we changed the very spin of the earth. The planet konked off its axis unable to bear the burden of a Ginormous multitude of party people.

And now I’ve taken the World Cup Trophy and put it up on my horns. You can see them everytime my greatness makes a greatness filled tweet .

I also decided to honor this Epic once in a lifetime Epoch moment by mounting the World Cup on my Rolls-Royce Phantom Conquistador. So I got the most spectacular,pimptacular,foshizzle,ching ching,bling bling mechanic in all of the world. Flew him down from LA in my obscenely expensive Private Jet which is bigger than the entire country of Sri Lanka whom we defeated in the finals and had the World Cup mounted on the hood of my Royce.My Rolls Royce bears the World's Coolest Hood Ornament.


Now if you see the World Cup on a Rolls Royce driving on Marine Drive, hell all of Mumbai and India even then you know it belongs to My Greatness.

Remember these faces people. They are the ones who made it happen:


 WORLD CHAMPIONS.

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