Thursday, March 5, 2009

Bobby-J Says It Was Usman

Rap music is popular, even I can rap:

Yo Yo Yo, rapping is like stock breaking,

You make the MONEY and spend it on the HONEY,

And then you invest it in more stocks…..

One of the world’s most famous rappers is Bobby-J. For those who don’t know Bobby-J is an American politician. He is presently the governor of an American state called Louisiana.

I know Bobby-J because he is the estranged brother of my assistant/laundry boy,Mini-J.

Bobby-J and Mini-J were born on the night of a lunar eclipse. They got separated at birth and grew up into two separate people with almost identical DNA. Mini-J stayed back in India while Bobby-J became an American politician. Years later they met at a railway station and discovered that they had a birthmark on the back of their necks.

They also realized that they both talked like weasels and have faces that look like deep fried monkey butt. Thus they came to the conclusion that they were both brothers who were separated at birth.

This is when they shook hands, went to the opposite ends of the railway platform and ran towards each other at 120km/hour shouting “BHAIYYA….AA…..AAA…...AAA”.

I got to laugh when they banged into each other, broke their teeth and landed in hospital for a week.

Both Bobby-J and Mini-J have another thing in common. They both work for me. Everybody knows what Mini-J does.

But, Bobby-J is my top secret spy in America. As a member of the Republican Party he finds ways to defeat Barack Obama and since he’s a rapper he gets to perform whenever the Republicans party.

In time Bobby-J could become the President of the USA and since he works for me that would in effect make me the king of the planet.

This is what I call long term investing, I invest in Bobby-J now and in 2012 my investment matures and I get to rule the world.

Bobby-J has been feeding me exclusive details of the attack on the Sri Lankan team in Lahore.

But how would an Indian born American governor of Louisiana get to know about the attack by Pakistanis on Sri Lankans in Pakistan?

It’s simple because here in India or Pakistan or Sri Lanka we like to have criminal cases investigated by American investigative agencies like the FBI and CIA.They know before us what’s happened.

Zardari will now go and ask Obama for money saying “See I told you, we are also a victim of terror, now give me money for military aid, preferably 700 Billion Dollars.”

The more Obama gives to Zardari = lesser for company bailouts and the lesser for bailouts =more number of bankruptcies .More the number of bankruptcies =lesser is the value of my own portfolio.

Now that can’t happen can it?

This is why Bobby-J is stationed in America to inform me about all the stupid crap that the Americans are pulling.

Now the Pakistanis have already said that there is a foreign hand involved in the Lahore attack. According to them the foreign hand looks something like this:

What the American investigation has revealed is that the man responsible for the Lahore attack is a dangerous third rate cricketer called Usman Afzal.

Usman Afzal has always been jealous of Sri Lankan Thilan Samaraweera.It is because of Thilan that Afzal didn’t get an IPL contract.

His jealousy only increased when Thilan Samaraweera scored two consecutive double hundreds against Pakistan. He then declared a fatwa on Samaraweera.

The terrorists who accepted the fatwa therefore shot at Thilan but could only injure his leg.

Now Usman is really pissed, the terrorists couldn’t get rid of Thilan and his girlfriend Amrita Arora found out about Usman’s fatwa and decided to punish him by marrying someone else.

As far as my investment in Bobby-J goes,

“I Always Knew My Investment In Bobby-J Was A Good Deal.

I Never Doubted It Even For A Minute.”

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