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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Jhunjhunwala Times : Vijay Mallya To Hold Classes in singing 'OOH LA LA LA LE O' in last ditch attempt to revive Kingfisher Airlines



JHUNJHUNWALA NEWS NETWORK|Bangalore
Repeated money loser and father of legendary douche bag Sidharth Mallya, Dr.Vijay Mallya has decided to start ‘OOH LA LA LA LE O’ training classes in a last ditch attempt to generate funds to revive Kingfisher Airlines.

Dr.Mallya who is best known for printing chronologically numbered days of the year in neat arrays also called calendars along with pictures of  half naked, semi naked and almost naked women has been in the news for presenting failed revival plan after failed revival plan for relaunching Kingfisher Airlines to the Director General Of Civil Aviation(DGCA)


Mallya who owns F1 car crashing team Force India and IPL Cricket Team Royal Challengers Bangalore has been struggling to find ways to repay the 7000 crore debt he owes to various moneylenders  who supplied funds to start Kingfisher Airlines.

Another successful crash for Vijay Mallya's F1 Team. Force India now holds the Guinness World record for Maximum Car crashes in F1 race history


In a last ditch effort to relaunch the airline Mallya has sought advice from the King Of Relaunch’ Shri Uday Chopra. Uday Chopra has been launched and relaunched so many times now that NASA has conferred on him the extremely prestigious title of ‘Honorary Space Shuttle’ in recognition of his relaunch efforts.


Still Photo Of Uday Chopra at the NASA ceremony where he was conferred the title of  HONORARY SPACE SHUTTLE

Chopra whose advice on relaunch has also helped struggling  comeback hero Jackky Bhagnani  has reportedly told Dr.Mallya to offer training classes in singing the Kingfisher group theme song ‘OOH LA LA LA LE O’ .Mallya had earlier limited his tutorial to Cricketers only by making an instructional video but will now provide a more detailed course to the general public.

Mallya will personally take classes for interested candidates in Kingfisher Airline Plane Hangars which have been fitted with microphones and musical instruments  converting them into classrooms for the occasion.

The syllabus will focus on the correct pitch, rhythm,beat and technical aspects of pronouncing OOH LA LA LA LE O. Sensing a business opportunity in this space noted internet critic and egg hatching,chicken-counting,diamond-finding,expert Nobel management laureate Doctor Professor Arindam Chaudhuri has started his own training classes in OOH LA LA LA LE O. The advertising tagline ‘Dare To Think Beyond Ooh La La Le O’ has already appeared in 98% of newspapers worldwide signaling tough competition to Mallya.
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