Thursday, December 17, 2009

Battle Of The Exchanges

See what happened this week. First the NSE plans to start its trading session at 9 am so that the East Asian dudes everyone from Singapore to Indonesia, the Seoul Korean KOSPI lovers and the Nikkei Japanese Hakka noodle eaters can invest in India for an extra hour.

Immediately the Bombay Stock Exchange gets wind of this and decides to open at 9:45 am on a mic check, mic check, testing 1...2…3 basis.

Now the NSE doesn’t like this, not one bit. They make a major announcement: Henceforth the National Stock Exchange will open even earlier- at 9:00 am.

The Bombay stock exchange makes an announcement 10 seconds later that they too will open for business at 9:00 am.

So from Next year the Markets will open at 9 am.

This makes the Securities Exchange Board of India aka SEBI think. Think deep. CB Bhave the chief of SEBI known also as SEBI Bhave is now discussing the implications of these moves with our Hon-Her-Able Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee.

But what does this mean for Rocky J? One trader asked me if this would be a problem for me.

‘Ha!’ I said ‘Till Today Rocky J hasn’t met a problem whose ass he couldn’t kick’.


Think about the massive implications:

1 extra hour/day = 5 extra hours/week =20 extra hours/month=240 extra hours/year *

*(The above calculation is exclusive of the list of declared market holidays. The list of declared Market Holidays for the year 2009 and 2010 can be found on the respective websites of the BSE and the NSE. Links to which I have no intention of providing. You are free to complain about my impoliteness to SEBI, a complaint form is found on the SEBI website. Once again I have no intention of providing the link to this website. )

If I am to make even 2 crores every extra hour then I’d be making 480 extra crores every year simply because the markets trade 1 extra hour everyday.

But this also means that the Mukherjee’s Udayan and Mitali will have to be on TV one hour earlier.

Plastic Face Shruti Ruparel from UTVi will have to spend one extra hour everyday learning that the Bombay Stock Exchange is an Exchange where securities are traded and not a hospital where sex-change operations are performed. It’s pronounced Bombay Stock Exchange not Bombay Stock Sexchange.

Ashwani Gujral will have to sit on his massive chair for 1 extra hour and set stop loss targets with a 2% price differential for another extra hour.


Ambareesh Baliga will have to ramble for one extra hour everyday explaining why the stocks he picked yesterday flopped as usual.






SP Tulsian
will buy Reliance for one extra hour everyday “Because Reliance Is A Good Company

Samir Arora from Helios Capital will spend one more hour everyday blaming FII’s (Foreign Institutional Investors ) for ‘Unusual And Highly Volatile Market Activity’

Brokers will take credit for every right call they make and blame sub-brokers for every wrong call they make for one extra hour everyday.

I love it when a plan comes together. I wonder if I had anything to do with it. One extra hour.

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