Friday, February 22, 2013

Sushil Kumar Shinde Intelligence Briefing

My greatness accessed this note from our hon-her-able Home Minister’s computer. It’s an intelligence briefing sent after the Hyderabad Blasts which occurred yesterday :


Sushil Kumar Shinde Intelligence Briefing
Ministry Of Home Affairs

To All Respective State Governments,

It is expected there will be terrorist based terror attacks to destabilize our Indian democracy .We are therefore issuing this briefing to brief all of you so you can protect your respective citizens and states.

Name of Attacker:  Don’t Know

Number of Attackers : Can be 1 or more than 1.Definitely not less than 1 or more than 1 Million.

Place of Attack: Can be any place on this map.

Type of Attack: Blasting thing like bomb 

Mode of operation: Usually twin blasts as in if there are twins in one place like the MTV Roadies baldies from Tees Maar Khan THEN they will shout so much that their heads will explode. This is called Twin Blasts.

Time of Attack: Usually between 12 pm to 12 am or 12 am to 12 pm

Recommended Course of Action: Terrorists usually place bombs on cycles. All state police must therefore raid cycle shops and arrest all cycle riders like Lance Armstrong:

Cycle Companies like Hero Cycles and Atlas Cycles should be labeled Terror Camps and all their property must be confiscated.

Sometimes terrorists also put bombs in tiffin boxes therefore everyone should stop eating food. Without any food there will be no tiffin boxes made to put bombs in. People can drink carrot, orange and papaya juice to keep themselves alive like this man.

End Result: Law will take its own course AND Perpetrators will be brought to Justice

[Indian Home Minister after Chidambaram became Finance Minister after being Home Minister after Shivraj Patil resigned 
On the job 24 X 7 (Sunday Holiday)]

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