My
greatness accessed this note from our hon-her-able Home Minister’s computer.
It’s an intelligence briefing sent after the Hyderabad
Blasts which occurred yesterday :
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Sushil Kumar
Shinde Intelligence Briefing
Ministry Of
Home Affairs
India
To All Respective State Governments,
It is expected there will be terrorist based terror attacks
to destabilize our Indian democracy .We are therefore issuing this briefing to
brief all of you so you can protect your respective citizens and states.
Name of Attacker: Don’t Know
Number of Attackers : Can be 1 or more than 1.Definitely not less than 1 or more than 1 Million.
Place of Attack: Can be any place on this map.
Type of Attack: Blasting thing like bomb
Mode of operation: Usually twin blasts as in if there
are twins in one place like the MTV Roadies baldies from Tees Maar Khan THEN they
will shout so much that their heads will explode. This is called Twin Blasts.
Time of Attack: Usually between 12 pm to 12 am or
12 am to 12 pm
Recommended Course of Action: Terrorists
usually place bombs on cycles. All state police must therefore raid cycle shops
and arrest all cycle riders like Lance Armstrong:
Cycle Companies like Hero Cycles and Atlas Cycles should be
labeled Terror Camps and all their property must be confiscated.
Sometimes terrorists also put bombs in tiffin boxes therefore
everyone should stop eating food. Without any food there will be no tiffin
boxes made to put bombs in. People can drink carrot, orange and papaya juice to
keep themselves alive like this man.
End Result: Law will take
its own course AND Perpetrators will be brought to Justice
SUSHIL KUMAR SHINDE
[Indian Home Minister after Chidambaram became Finance
Minister after being Home Minister after Shivraj Patil resigned
On the job 24 X 7 (Sunday Holiday)]
