Thursday, November 26, 2009

Confidence Inspirer : Patil 3:16 Says He Just Whooped Your Ass !!!!

Now then let’s see.

One year ago Hafiz Saeed was free,

One year later Hafiz Saeed is still free.

One year ago RR Patil was the Home Minister of Maharashtra,

One year later RR Patil is still the Home Minister of Maharashtra.

One year ago the News Channels were playing clips from the 26/11 attacks,

One year later the News Channels are still playing clips from the 26/11 attacks.

One year ago Kasab was alive,

One year later Kasab is still alive.

Congratulations everybody!

We simply changed the date and time,

From 26/11/2008 to 26/11/2009!

Most importantly one year later we now have pay per second billing. Now we can all sing on trains DoCoMo…DoCoMo...DoCoMo…

But some things stay the same and one among those things I mentioned is RR Patil. You may feel scared to travel to or live in Mumbai but it’s a good thing that RR Patil has returned as the Home Minister of Maharashtra.

Why? Because he inspires CONFIDENCE. He’s a CONFIDENCE INSPIRER.

All of these people are confident about RR Patil.I asked them about RR Patil and this is what they said.

Damn! RR Patil is solid:

Udayan Mukherjee,CNBC TV18/Backstreet Boy Wannabe: “RR Patil: He has the reputation of being the single baddest and toughest son of a bitch in the history of the world.

I mean there are bad guys and there are badder guys but this guy he’s fu#kin crazy man!!! He’s an all-round badass!!!

RR Patil is in fact the role model for Stone Cold Steve Austin. In fact Austin borrowed/requested RR Patil to let him use the ‘3:16’ tag. Much before Stone Cold Steve Austin, RR Patil was known as ‘Patil 3:16’. It was only after Patil 3:16 that Austin 3:16 was born.

Nobody Fuc#in even Fuc#in tries to Fuc# with RR Patil.

He is one gob smacking, sucker thrashing, face pounding, heart pulverizing, ass whooping, ball breaking, head thramming, come-straight-to-your-house–and-beat-you-into-dust , foul mouthed , alkali spewing,make-you-urinate-in-your-pants,straight-from-the-pits-of-hell-Satan’s-son , legitimate-bash-you-in-your-fuc#in-face-son-of-a bitch badass if ever there was one and once he’s done with you all that’s left to say is:

“Patil 3:16 just whooped your ass!”


G Janardhana, International Superstar/Reddy Brother: “There are only two people in the world that can get a woman pregnant by just looking at her. One is Rajinikant and the other is RR Patil. That’s how intense he is. In RR Patil’s case he can get a woman pregnant by looking at her for just 1 second.

I mean he just looks at her and the baby pops out. Seriously ….I know this one woman and RR Patil looked at her for one minute and babies just started dropping from her uterus. They just dropped man! like ripe fruits from a tree! There were babies everywhere!!!

Babies on the floor, babies on the ceiling, babies on the walls, babies on my head, babies in my eyes. Absolutely everywhere. Babies everywhere man, everywhere!! He took that room from being an ordinary room to a Maternity Ward in thirty seconds flat.”

Deve Gowda, Former Prime Minister/Youth Icon: “RR Patil can make P.Chidambaram’s lungi fall down by just snapping his finger. Once in front of Sonia Gandhi, RR Patil snapped his fingers and Chidambaram’s lungi fell off. Just like that. Anyone who can do that should be Home Minister of Maharashtra.”


Arindam Chaudhuri, Rockstar MBA Action Person: “If there’s anyone who can secure Mumbai its RR Patil. RR Patil is so destructive that things explode behind him whenever he walks. Movies copied that only after RR Patil showed it to the world.

I thought I was the only one who could do the ACTION MAN WALK.

But RR Patil. Damn! He just blew me away. He just walks and things start exploding behind him. I’ve seen a lot of things in my life but I’ve never seen anything like RR Patil’s action man walk. Only he is capable of being Maharashtra’s Home Minister.”


Rehman Malik, Frustrated Fellow, Evidence Lover: “Let me tell you one thing. You know why Hafiz Saeed is under house arrest in Pakistan. That’s just political Pakistan horse shit. Hafiz Saeed is scared to come out of his house because he’s scared that RR Patil will smash him. That’s why he hasn’t come out of his house in over a year.”

Mukesh Ambani, Gas Fighter: “Oh you want proof ha! I’ll give you bloody proof!!! You know that Quentin Tarantino fellow whose latest film was Inglourious Basterds. Well his next film is based on RR Patil. It’s called Inglourious Patils.”


Mei Chun Hua, Captain, Chinese Women’s Cricket Team: “Kareena Kapoor has always been brainless but RR Patil he made her backless, dress-less and almost naked.”


Yashodhan Rao Kadam, Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Little Champs 2009 Contestant/Small Boy: “When I grow up I want to be just like RR Patil uncle.”

Mullah Jakrezi Ahmed,Real Person/Disabled Ex-Terrorist: “I regret the day I messed with RR Patil. He tore my legs and hands out and since then I’ve been suffering. I can’t even scratch anywhere without help because I lack hands and legs. Terrorists are shit scared of RR Patil.”


Dharmendra, Actor/Drinker Of Dog Blood: “RR Patil has drunk mother’s milk. He is super duper smash mouth strong. He invented the popular phrase of the Mumbai Police: “DO KYA KAAN KE NEECHE?” or “SHALL I GIVE UNDER EAR?”


Justice Liberhan, 17 Year Babri Masjid Report Veteran: “For 17 years I didn’t submit the Babri Masjid report because RR Patil’s image haunted my dreams and I couldn’t do any work. Now I’ve taken treatment and am much better but there are still times when RR Patil’s image creeps my brain out….”

RR Patil: No one is tougher or badder. Keeping Mumbai safe since 2003 but was on a break for a little while in 2009 but now he’s back.

No more 26/11’s .The RR Patil Guarantee because Patil 3:16 says he just Whooped your ASS!

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