Friday, July 17, 2009

Oh! Rain :A Poem

Oh rain,

What a pain,

Please come soon,

Then I can eat stuff with a spoon.

[Poetry lesson #1: The last two lines don’t make too much sense but at least they rhyme and that’s important in poetry, always remember this.

#2: I am a (legendary) investor; I don’t need to write poems, so give me a break.

#3: If you still don’t get lessons 1 and 2, then go to hell. I’m trying to get in touch with my creative and sensitive side here. Apparently its cool or whatever and Vinod Kambli likes doing it on TV.]

When it rains it pours,

But when it doesn’t rain,

The government waives off the farmer’s loan in crores.

Because of loan waiver,

UPA is still in power,

The UPA does not like the rain.

Because only when there is no rain,

Can they throw so much money down the drain.

The whole thing is so lame,

Everyone knows election is a game.

Does anyone care about the farmer?

To most he’s nothing more than a gardener.

Tell my why even after sixty years, our nation

Still has so many problems with the irrigation?

Even in the recession,

For rain we need a lot of depression.

“We will definitely get a depression”

This is the Met Department’s impression.

Only when there is depression over the Bay of Bengal,

Does the rain in our country fall.

When the depression is too small,

There is little or no rainfall.

The Bay had the depression glued,

But now it has moved,

Right into the farmer’s mind,

Where it has trapped him in its massive bind,

And put his life is in a dangerous grind.

The Agriculture Minister’s name is Pawar,

He keeps saying “The Monsoon Will Be On Time”

“Everything Will Be Fine”

But how can that be?

Because not even Sharad Pawar,

Can alter nature’s Power.

Whether it rains or not,

Sharad will not be in a knot,

There is enough in his pie,

Don’t forget, who’s the boss of the BCCI?

The BCCI is playing the Indian Premier League,

And the farmer is playing the Indian Poverty League.

In Uttar Pradesh,

And in Madhya Pradesh,

People are fighting for Paani,

But Behenji is trying to do Haani,

Because Rita is doing everything in the name of Madamji,

Why can’t you forget about this incident when it’s so cheesy?

Even the Dalit wants paani, when will you realize this O Behenji?

Our PM is talking terrorism,

In the country with the stone prism.

Should we even bother about all this with the neighboring country?

Where the primary accused murders and walks about so freely.

They learnt this from us

That’s why there is a Srinagar-Muzaffarabad bus.

Where else did they get that idea?

From here of course,

Just read what follows,

Everybody saw Professor Sabharwal’s dead body,

But the accused got away because the prosecution was so shoddy.

Like Jaaved Jaffrey said:

“Chhota Chhota matter bane police case

Bada bada lafdaa gul without trace

Ghabraane ka nahin,

give it in the face,

woh kya bolta hain,

haan… jaisa desh waisa bhais”

What a country we live in!

This side problem,

Even that side problem,

When there is too much rain, there is flood.

When there is too little the farmer spills his own blood.

Don’t worry people, you need reassurance,

This is why we have life insurance.

Life Insurance Corporation of India:

Urvashi ,Urvashi ,Take It Easy Policy.

Now Dance to the song!

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