As the official brand ambassador of Telebrands, yours truly is often required to test their newest products.
Their latest product is called the Telebrands SUBTEXTER™ and I’ve been trying it out on all these guys.
Prime Minister, Dr Manmohan Singh: “We have the capacity and ability to sustain the growth rate of about eight per cent and will do so.”
Subtext: It’s amazing how I have a degree in Economics from Cambridge University but can still continue to say that we can grow at 8% despite the worst economic crisis in a century. I only have to keep saying this till the ELECTION, after that it’s someone else’s problem.
LK Advani: “The government's flawed policies led to high inflation.”
Subtext: Let me see now. I blamed the UPA government for:
1. The Nuclear Deal.
2. The terrorist attacks (both in India and planet Neptune).
3. Cash for votes scam.
4. Kandhamal violence.
5. Every single flyover collapse this past decade.
6. Crash of the Sensex in 2008.
7. Somali pirates.
8. Barack Obama becoming US president.
9. Habibul Bashar and the Bangladesh team joining the ICL.
10. Congo Pirates.
11. Lalu Yadav using hair gel on my birthday.
12. Katrina Kaif still using a dubbing artist to speak Hindi in her films.
13. Banning the film ‘Deshdrohi’.
I‘ve got to find newer things to blame the government or else I’ll never be PM.
CB Bhave, Chairman SEBI: "There is no evidence so far that any Bear cartel is operating or there is any kind of manipulation in the markets."
Subtext: I learnt a new word called CARTEL after the Telecom Minister also said the CARTEL was behind the 60,000 Crore rupees spectrum scam.
Vijay Mallya: “I do not run Kingfisher Airlines through media.”
Subtext: Ooh Laa Laa Laa Lala Looeye Oh,Oo Laa Laa Laa Laa Laa Ley Oh.
Montek Singh Ahluwalia: "Let me assure you that inflation is coming down and in recessionary circumstances, industry will automatically soften prices."
Subtext: That’s the 9 millionth time I’ve said something stupid but I know I’ll get away with it. I can always say I was quoted out of context if someone brings this up.
CPM General Secretary Prakash Karat: "They will pay for their misdeeds and people will vote them out of power. What we need to see is that no communal party sits in the chair. We are confident of a good performance"
Subtext: Okay listen, how come none of the news channels are talking about me ever since the Nuclear Deal-Confidence Vote fiasco ended? I feel so used.
Karan Johar :"It's fun and new. We've made sure not to offend any group or community. I'd never make a film that would offend anybody. Dostana has a great look and it's a clean happy watch"
Subtext: I’ve just taken my secret gay existence to a whole new level. I made a film where one of the heroes is married to Aishwarya Rai and the other is engaged to Bipasha Basu.That’s two guys involved with the two hottest chicks in the country and I still show them as gay people in my film. How many more clues do people actually need to realize I too am gay? Should I start wearing a sari now?
Praveen Togadia: “I do not know Pragya Singh at all. But I know she is not a terrorist.”
Subtext: Only Muslims are terrorists, especially the converted Muslims like Mikaeel Jackson.
8 COMMENT:
Visit this link to view Jhunjhunwala's portfolio as on Sep 08!
http://rakesh-jhunjhunwala.blogspot.com/2008/11/latest-equity-portfolio-of-rakesh.html
These shares are held by Rakesh Jhunjhunwala and his wife Rekha Jhunjhunwala and form a part of his disclosed portfolio. He could be holding more shares through companies, trusts, proprietary accounts which are not in the public domain.
Rakesh Jhunjhunwala is betting big on TITAN INDUSTRIES, PRAJ INDUSTRIES, APTECH, LUPIN, NAGARJUNA CONSTRUCTION, PUNJ LLOYD, BILCARE AND CRISIL with more than Rs 100 crore investment in each.
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Rakesh ji,
I think our PM is forced by his Madamji to lie in front of our nation.
I loved the ones with Vijay Mallya and Karan Johar and LK Advani(who actually blames UPA for everything!!)I think you forgot to mention Malegaon blasts in the list too.
Very funny post.
DPM,
The PM can do that especially when it comes from 'party high command'.
Tanuj,
Malegaon is the UPA'S equivalent of Kandhmal,your inference will appear if you use the Telebrands subtexter on the UPA's spokesperson(s).
ROFLMAO..carry on the gud work dude...who cares about the market ..we are bullish on you!!!
Anyways any recommendations for this quarter...what shld I not buy :P
Its been such a long time since i came across such a good blog :)
Great to see such a creative man on the blogosphere ;)
carry on the good work buddy,i am another khaitan in your fan shop :P
Cheerz
Black
Rahul,
This quarter don't buy a Quarter,Anbumani is watching and might ask "How many?"
Sirius,
I can only say are you SIRIUS?
I always thought Crompton Greaves was better than Khaitan.
A simple reform has become necessary in the Electroal Process in India. A choice to vote in favour of None of the Candidates available should be provided.
If the largest numbers of votes get cast on this choice in any constituency, re-elections in that constituency be made mandatory declaring all other candidates have lost their "jamanat" and be not allowed to contest in the ensuing repolling again. Until a repoll has been conducted that particular seat in the house / assembly be vacant and the proceedings go on with the available number of elected representatives.
Such a simple change will force Political Parties to select candidates with "sale-able" credentials rather than "sail-able" credentials only. If not in one round, if not in two rounds of electioneering, over a course of time the quality of polity will improve with only acceptable quality of candidates finding political sponsorship.
This perhaps, is the only way of bringing a larger number of Indians to vote and participate in the fulfilment of their rights and obligations as citizens of a democracy.
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