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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

NDTV Profit & ET NOW Present : Business Tee Time On Course With Spectrum Raja


Ever since Shaili Chopra moved onto ET Now from NDTV Profit there has been a calamitous loss in the hearts of television watchers worldwide. The grief has become unbearable for ‘Business on Course’ fans.

And after superhit shows like ‘Business On Course With Hafiz Saeed’ and ‘Business On Course With Madhu Koda’ the lack of humanity’s favorite simultaneous golf playing interview holding femme fatale Shaili Chopra on TV has confounded all of mankind.

To avert further crisis I got ET Now to start ‘Tee time with Shaili Chopra’. Basically it’s just ‘Business On Course’ but because it’s on ET Now it has a different name called ‘Tee Time With Shaili Chopra’.

Combine Shaili’s old show and Shaili’s new show and you get ‘Business Tee Time On Course With Shaili Chopra’ .

YEAH! I KNOW.RADICAL RIGHT!

So here is the transcript of the brand new episode of Business Tee Time On Course With Shaili Chopra. A highly controversial chat WHILE PLAYING GOLF! With renowned current Indian Telecom Minister A. Raja aka SPECTRUM RAJA.

Now I know this is a lengthy transcript BUT If you want to learn how to 'do scam' then Spectrum Raja's Words are simply worth their weight in GOLD.So read this in slow motion and I hope at least Shashi Tharoor learns from all this.

“NDTV Profit & ET NOW Present :Business Tee Time On Course With Spectrum Raja ”

_______________________________________________________

Shaili: Good afternoon everybody!! Welcome to another scintillating episode of Business Tee Time On Course with me, yours truly, Shaili Chopra here on this wonderful green setting of the Chennai Golf Course.

Our guest today needs no introduction…..but I’ll introduce him anyway...Otherwise we can’t formally start this interview and play golf!! Heh! Heh!

None other than the Hon-Her-Able champion of India’s Telecommunications Revolution, Member Of Parliament from the Nilgiris Constituency and most importantly the Government Of India’s Union Minister Of Telecom, Andimuthu Raja also known by his popular nickname SPECTRUM RAJA!

Mr.Raja or Spectrum Raja, Welcome To Business Tee Time On Course!

Spectrum Raja: Thanks Shaili! Pleasure!

Shaili: Mr. Raja .Lets discuss something specific today while we tee off. What do you make of this whole recent IPL row with Shashi Tharoor and Lalit Modi among others. What is your opinion of the way in which Mr.Tharoor, a former fellow cabinet minister has acted.

Spectrum Raja: Shaili, see Politics Is The Art Of The Possible.

I have always believed that it is possible to be a Minister successfully and yet do Scam without even having to think about resigning.

Tharoor has not been able to balance his Ministerial capabilities with his Scamming abilities .Hence he has resigned.

You get my point? Politics is all about believing that anything is possible and making the impossible, possible. Like ADIDAS says Impossible Is Nothing!


Shaili: Are you saying that Shashi lacked the belief that he could successfully scam the IPL and stay a Minister?

Spectrum Raja: Definitely, Tharoor not only lacks the self belief to do scam but he also lacks the skills required to do scam. He simply is not qualified enough to be a minister.

Shaili: I’m surprised!! Isn’t he a bit overqualified? I mean he worked for the UN.Ran for post of Secretary General. Has written so many books and he was one of the youngest Ph.D getters in India!!

How can you say he lacks the skills to be a minister?

Spectrum Raja: Madam, let me ask you a simple question. Can An Electrician Do A Plumber’s Job?

Shaili: No, of course not.

Spectrum Raja: Exactly.

Politics is a specialized field just like Medicine, Engineering, Music, even arts.

Not everyone can be a politician and very very few can be an Indian politician.

Indian politics is without doubt the Mecca of World Politics. Corruption is our lifeblood. Its what we politicians strive for.

The standards of corruption here are so high that one needs proper training and experience just to become an MLA let alone an MP.

And to become a Minister you must be the cream of the crop. You must be able to do Corruption and Scam better than anybody else.

Right from Village Panchayat members to Local Municipality members to District Association members to MLA’s and fellow MP’s ; A minister like me has the task of inspiring, maintaining and upholding India’s rigorous and excellent standards of corruption.

Tharoor has failed to do that.

It is an insult to our tradition of corruption if a politician at Minister Of State level that too for External Affairs cannot even do a simple 70 crore sweat equity scam.

I mean how can anyone get caught for doing a simple 70 CRORE SCAM! Even Fisheries Department Officials do much bigger scam when they import fish food for all the fishes!!!

Forget Fisheries Department. Even Traffic Warden makes more money with bribe.

How incompetent is Tharoor if he can’t even manage simple 70 crore scam that too in an organization as big as IPL?!!!

Shaili: Mr. Raja, Where do you think Mr.Tharoor went wrong?

Spectrum Raja: See, Tharoor has gone wrong in many places.

First of all when he returned to India after his UN stint he joined Congress Party. That was his first big mistake.

Shaili: Are you saying he should have joined the BJP??

Spectrum Raja: NO, NO, NO, of course not! Let me elaborate.

A politician’s life in India best prospers if he or she joins a REGIONAL PARTY like my own party the DMK ,NOT a national party like Congress or BJP.

The creative freedom to do scam and practice corruption that a politician encounters in a Regional Party is a lot more than the options he has in a National Party.

Because it is after all the Regional Party in India which is more powerful than the National Party.

Shaili: But how? Fascinating, please explain!

Spectrum Raja: Sure!

In every other country it is the dog that wags the tail.

But in India the opposite happens. It is the tail which wags the dog.

I mean if you want to form the government you must have at least 273 MPs in Lok Sabha but every national party like Congress and BJP knows that it alone cannot get 273 MPs on its own.

That’s why it has to take support of regional parties like DMK ,Samajwadi Party,etc.

We regional parties are the tail and without us the dog cannot rule. We are the ones wagging the dog. So we are more powerful than the dog.

But Tharoor chose to join a national party instead of a regional party. That was his first mistake.

Had he joined a regional party he’d still be a minister, managed to keep all that scam money and if the national party wanted to sack him, the tail party could always threaten to withdraw support.

Then the government will get scared and keep its mouth shut.

If Tharoor wanted to do scam then regional party is always the best.

Just Take the example of Mayawati, head of regional party, Bahujan Samaj Party .

She builds Statues- does scam there

She builds Taj Corridor – does scam there

She throws Birthday Party for herself – does scam there

She gets Garlanded for Party Anniversary – does scam there

Or even Lalu Yadav, another regional party leader who does scam so well

Animals are getting fodder means – Lalu is doing scam there

And how can I forget another regional party hero who does scam?!

Madhu Koda , Independent MLA becoming Chief Minister and in one go swallows 4000 crore Hawala Money and beautifully sits in Jharkhand - doing scam there.

And might I also add Shibu Soren!! Scam guru from 50 years!

To save Narasimha Rao Government – Shibu did scam

After becoming Union Minister – Shibu did scam

Now he is Jharkhand chief minister – there also Shibu is doing scam

All these people are professionals. Tharoor is an amateur.Thats why to do scam always join regional party, not national party.

ALWAYS WAG THE DOG, NEVER BE THE DOG ITSELF. BE THE DOG’S TAIL.

Shaili: In fact this is something you’ve experienced yourself!

Spectrum Raja: Yes, indeed!

When the PM was forming this current government he did not want to take me in his cabinet because many Congress fellows are jealous of my scamming abilities.

They can’t do scam like me. It’s the truth.

After all I had already managed to do wonderful Scam in 2G spectrum and collected so much money in thousands and thousands of Crores for DMK party fund, the other ministers were becoming intimidated by me.

That’s why they advised the PM to not make me Telecom Minister again.

Shaili: That’s also why you have been nicknamed as Spectrum Raja haven’t you?!!!

Spectrum Raja: Correct!!


So when we being a tail party heard that I Spectrum Raja was not going to be given a minister post I immediately phone called my Mentor and Party President, Hon-Her-Able Dr.Kalaignar Sir.


When Dr.Kalaignar Sir hearing that I not becoming minister he doing phone call to PM Manmohan Singh and Sonia Madam where he saying “Make Raja Minister or I withdraw support to UPA Government and then all falling down”.


Immediately within 2 minutes PM himself apologize to me and my office become ready for me to restart Spectrum Scam.

Now if I had been in Congress then PM would have told me to get lost and I’d have no choice but to listen to him. But I am still minister doing bigger scam than Tharoor because I am from regional party!!

If Tharoor also done like me by joining regional party then today even he be minister but he joined big Congress Party and they kicked him out.

I feel sorry for him, this is a big jolt to his political career, how will he face fellow MP’s when they realize he can’t even do simple scam for just 70 Crores that too using Girlfriend Sunanda’s name in IPL.

Cheh, Cheh, Cheh! .Tharoor can’t even do small scam of 70 Crores without getting caught.

What use is his Ph.D degree now?

Shaili: Are you saying that using his girlfriend’s name was a bad idea?

Spectrum Raja: NO, NO, Not like that.

I am saying he has not used the girlfriend properly.

See if you are Minister or MP, basically if you are in politics then you must first make sure that you keep Girlfriend Details Private and Girlfriend Herself Even More Private.

Even Tiger Woods knows that and he had 16 girlfriends but he only contacted them by SMS.

The cardinal rule of having girlfriend in politics is to always FIRST OF ALL BOOK HOTEL ROOM.

Shaili: What??!!!!

Spectrum Raja: Especially if you have done marriage then to meet girlfriend you must always meet her in hotel room only. Never outside hotel room.

This Tharoor is not understanding that. Even though he is divorced, still politician must always meet girlfriend in hotel room only and talk by phone.

Never be seen in public with girlfriend. It is such a basic rule of politics but Tharoor does not even know that.

He always being with girlfriend Sunanda where media taking photos, in front of all the camera persons.

HE IS A STUPID.

ALWAYS BOOK HOTEL ROOM IF YOU WANT TO KEEP GIRLFRIEND . ALWAYS.


Shaili: Wow! I never knew this business principle of maintaining a girlfriend!!

Spectrum Raja: It is all education and experience as politician, that’s why Tharoor getting sacked, he not knowing even basic rules of Indian politics.

Shaili: Mr.Raja, let me ask you what you think about Tharoor’s resignation. Don’t you think he at least did the right thing by offering to resign?

Spectrum Raja: Ha! Ha! Of course not!

Shaili: Why do you say that?

Spectrum Raja: Another mistake by Tharoor here.

There is only one appropriate time when a minister must offer to resign.

Shaili: Really, when is that?!!

Spectrum Raja: A minister must offer to resign only when he is sure that his resignation will NOT be accepted.

Even English talking Chidambaram knows that.

Recently, 76 Jawans were killed by Naxals in Dantewada .Chidambaram offered his resignation BUT he only offered it because he knew that it would NOT be accepted by the Prime Minister or the Party.

So that way he gets to continue to remain Home Minister and still have the right to say that he offered to resign.

Shaili: What a brilliant scheme!

Spectrum Raja: This is very basic things, everyone knows but Tharoor not knowing this also. Simply he has offered to resign, obviously PM will accept, no!

IN FACT HE DID NOT EVEN USE THE LAWS OF COUNTERING ALLEGATIONS.

Shaili: What are those?!!!

Spectrum Raja: Just like in Physics we have Newton’s Laws of Motion, like that for Indian politics also we have Specific Laws of Countering Allegations.

See in politics, everyday somebody from opposition or even inside own party, they will put allegation on you and say you should resign.

But if you resign you lose and can’t do proper corruption.

So there are famous laws used by politicos even by Dr.Kalaignar Sir. These are called the laws of countering allegations.

Shall I tell you?

Shaili: Of Course,Please Do. I’m sure our viewers want to hear these important laws too!!

Spectrum Raja: Wokay! Wonderful.

The basic laws are :

1.) The First Law Of Countering Allegation States – “ALL ALLEGATIONS ARE BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED”

This is in fact also known as the UNIVERSAL DOCTRINE OF RUBBISHING ALLEGATIONS.

Any allegation by anyone against any politician; then that politician can simply say “All Allegations Are Baseless And Politically Motivated”.

It works beautifully whether it is Bribe Scandal, Income Tax Raid, Riots, Match Fixing, Vote Rigging, Murder ,Theft ,Fake Currency Note Printing, Anything.

Just say “ALL ALLEGATIONS ARE BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED” . In fact I myself said this so many times whenever people accused me of gobbling up thousands of Crores in 2G Spectrum Scam.

That is why I am SPECTRUM RAJA but if anyone asks “ALL ALLEGATIONS ARE BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED”


2.) The Second Law Of Countering Allegation States – “ANYTHING CAN BE BLAMED ON THE FOREIGN HAND”

Very simple. Again be it Bribe, Sex Scandal , Hawala,Forged Passport, Arms Smuggling, Illegal Liquor Manufacturing ,Land Grabbing Or Even Earthquake, Bomb Blast ,Typhoon Or Tsunami Just Blame The Foreign Hand.

Tharoor should see MTV. Even MTV knows about Foreign Hand.

3.) The Third Law Of Countering Allegation States – “ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND HAS BEEN MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA”

Whatever you say or do even if you have actually said and done, just say MEDIA HAS MISQUOTED YOU OR “QUOTED YOU OUT OF CONTEXT”.

Shaili: But what if the media actually has video footage of you doing the thing which you say have not done?

Spectrum Raja: Again say you have been misquoted by the media. In Fact Indian Politicians Can Say They Are Misquoted By The Media Even When They Have Not Quoted Anything!! Such is the beauty of this law.

And if video evidence exists, just say “THE FOOTAGE HAS BEEN TAMPERED WITH”. This way you can defend yourself against any allegation.

But Tharoor has not said anything. Simply like an idiot he went and gave resignation.

He didn’t even blame the opposition! What a fool!

These are just basic laws of Indian politics. Tharoor has not even put in the effort to learn these things. Instead he is busy making the tweets on the twitter; it shows he has no will or motivation to do scam properly.

Shaili: In light of this Tharoor controversy do you think scamming will be easier or harder in Indian politics in forthcoming days?

Spectrum Raja: India is a land of opportunity and I’ve already said that nothing is impossible and politics is the art of the possible.

So scam can always be done in India, the opportunities will only increase in the 21st century. Our future is bright.

I remember the very first day that I joined the DMK.I remember Dr.Kalaignar Sir telling me that TO DO SCAM ,SELF BELIEF AND CONFIDENCE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. In fact all my colleagues believe the same thing.

Just take the case of T.R BAALU .

He was Roads Minister in previous UPA Government. Not a single road he has built but how beautifully he has done scam in department of Public Highways!!

I am privileged to work with stalwarts like T.R Baalu.

Shaili: Mr .Raja I am enthralled at your confidence. Please tell us more about the confidence aspect we see in so many young Indian entrepreneurs and ministers such as yourself.

Spectrum Raja: Like I said. Confidence is a very important part of being corrupt.

When it comes to Tharoor I feel that he was at one level simply not confident enough about his scamming abilities.

Speaking about myself,I truly believe that scam can be done by anyone if they have the undying faith that they can do it.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

DREAM IT AND YOU CAN DO IT. DREAM THAT YOU CAN DO SCAM AND YOU WILL DO SCAM.

NO MATTER WHAT THE ODDS ARE AGAINST ME, I ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT I CAN DO SCAM.

TOMORROW IF THEY TRANSFER ME TO SOME OTHER MINISTRY, I KNOW I CAN DO SCAM THERE ALSO.


If I Become Minister Of Water Resources, Then Immediately I Will Get Water Tanker And Start Filling Them Up So That I Can Sell Water To People For High Price – So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Power Minister ,Then To Set Up Power Plant I Can Take Money From Power Company - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Sports Minister ,Then I Will Take Money From Hockey Team And Weightlifting Team To Put Players In National Team - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Minister For Environment, I Will Take Money From Wildlife Lovers To Protect The Tiger And From Poachers To Allow Tiger Hunting - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Petroleum Minister, I Will Take Money From Oil Companies To Give Oil Exploration Contracts - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Mines Minister, I Will Take Money From Mining Company To Process Iron Ore - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Defence Minister ,Then I Will Take Money From Gun And Plane Maker To Give Manufacturing Contract For Plane And Gun Like In Bofors - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Foreign Minister Then No Worry, Free Foreign Trip For All My 490303980 Cousins And Family Members - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Food Processing Minister, Then I Will Take Money From Even Tomato Sauce Company To Allow Them To Make Tomato Sauce - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Labor Minister, Then I Will Allow Trade Unions To Blackmail Companies Till They Give Me Money - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Law Minister, Then I Will Myself Bribe The Judges To Give ‘Not Guilty’ Verdict In All The Cases I Am Accused Of Corruption - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

If I Become Finance Minister ,Then I’ll Just Get Gold Bars Delivered To My House From Reserve Bank Of India - So That Is How I Will Do Scam There.

As It Is In Telecom Ministry I Have Already Done 60,000 Crore Rupees Spectrum Scam - So That Is How I Have Done Scam There.

Finally If I Become Prime Minister Then I Will Do Scam In All These Things.

Shaili: Mr.Raja. I Am Speechless!!! You are truly an inspiration to aspiring corrupt politicians not just in India but the entire world as well.

What’s next for you?

Spectrum Raja: Well, I am currently occupied with the 3G Spectrum Auction. I have already done scam in 2G Spectrum now I want to do even bigger scam in 3G.

And when 4G, 5G and 6G come I will do scam in them also. Whatever the number of G’s I always believe I can better myself each time with bigger and better scam because I want to be known as the world’s greatest corrupt politician.

Shaili: Wonderful! Mr. Raja .We wish you the best of luck!! Any message to all our viewers?!

Spectrum Raja: Definitely, always be dedicated to improve your corruption skills everyday. Don’t be like Shashi Tharoor getting stuck up at 70 Crore Sweat Equity. Always Think big. Aim for not 70 crore but 70,000 crores .

Never Forget To Do Scam!!

Goodbye From Spectrum Raja!!!

Bharat Mata Ki Jai!


Monday, April 12, 2010

Note To Vivek Oberoi: Now Would Be As Good A Time As Any To Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass



Dear Vivek Oberoi,

Life is all about making choices.

Take this letter for instance. I made a conscious choice to write it. The last time I wrote a letter was when Himesh Reshammiya had to be enlightened about his desperate lack of acting talent.

Now why would I want to take the trouble of writing something to you?

The reason is your latest film ‘PRINCE’ .To be technically correct ‘PRINCE – ITS SHOWTIME’.



First of all let me congratulate your producer on having the intellectual capacity to not add a kooky subtitle in an attempt to make it ‘hip’ and ‘happening’. Something like ‘Prince – The Yuvraaj’ or ‘Prince – The Raja’ or ‘Prince – Ek Chota Rajputra Ki Badi Kahani’.

You know that Provogue, which is a company I hold a huge stake in, is the ‘Fashion Partner’ for this film. The term ‘Fashion Partner’ does not indicate that the good people at Provogue designed your wardrobe for this film. It merely means that the science of marketing allows famous brands like Provogue to associate with movies like Prince.

Moreover I told Provogue to associate with Prince so that the clothes or the lack of clothes would be on display on the 3 hot babes who act with you in this film. You merely tagged along for the ride, in consumer business terminology Provogue marketing itself with Prince is a case of ‘Buy 3, Get 1 Free’.

Now, because of my stake holding in Provogue and its subsequent ‘fashion partnership’ with ‘Prince – Its Showtime’ I received like I usually do complimentary passes for the screening of Prince (Its Showtime).

So I saw your film Prince and let me say that I shall forever remember it as the most disturbing incident of my life. In fact I was so irritated after watching your film that I sold my entire stake in Mid Day Multimedia just to vent my frustrations.

Marwaris like me don’t like it when anything is wasted including their time. You owe me the three hours of my life that I spent watching your movie you little PIPSQUEAK JABRONI REDNECKED TWAT.

First of all who the hell names a movie ‘Prince’… huh?

IF YOU HAVEN’T HEARD PRINCE IS A DOG’S NAME. That’s right, dogs are called Prince. This is a photo of my Watchman’s dog Prince:


As of right now, poor Prince (My Watchman’s Dog) is lying in the Intensive Care Unit of a Veterinary Hospital after he sustained serious injuries which he received after trying to commit suicide upon watching the first 30 minutes of your film.

And to top this, the director of your film is named ‘KOOKIE’. That’s right.

Wait for it…..

Wait for it…..

KOOKIE.

I’ll say it again – KOOKIE.

Kookie sounds like Cookie, The biscuit.

So we’ve got a dog name inspired film called PRINCE, directed by a biscuit name inspired KOOKIE.

Why don’t you and KOOKIE just get a loan and start a factory to manufacture Dog Biscuits?

INSTEAD OF SPENDING 50 CRORES TO MAKE A LAME AS HELL BORE FEST OF A DENGUE PLAGUE RIDDEN EXERCISE IN FILM MAKING WHICH HAS RESULTED IN A NOMINEE WINNER FOR THE ‘SHIT FILM OF THE DECADE’ AWARD.

Let me put this in perspective for you which brings us back to the importance of choice.

Half hacks with crap talent make damned films like Prince .Guys like you make poor choices by jumping upon the very first offer that comes your way be it Prince or Princess.

You spend a shitload of money and charge up to 200 rupees for a ticket that is supposed to be a gateway for recreation but becomes a VAT and Entertainment Tax Ridden Liability.

And when your ticket makes you witness an epic suckfest like Prince…..people get pissed off.

And with YOU it seems to have become a recurring epidemic of poor choices. You remember KISNA don’t you which was yet another Diarrhea Ridden Nauseating Piece Of Garbage that vaulted from the mind of Subhash Ghai?

Or more recently, Kurbaan .Another film in which Vivek Oberoi drove people’s spirits out of their bodies so much that watching a nonstop 72,000 hour marathon telecast of Balika Vadhu and Godh Bharai would have provided more pleasure to someone who had the misfortune of seeing KURBAAN.

AND NOW WITH PRINCE, YOU HAVE REACHED A WHOLE NEW UNSEEN LEVEL OF SUCKING. I MUST CONGRATULATE YOU AND KOOKIE AND BEING THE PIONEERS IN ACHIEVING A THRESHOLD OF SUCKING PEOPLE NEVER EVEN KNEW EXISTED.

Your director thinks that everyone on this planet is just as uber retarded as he is . Apparently any film in this country can be built on the lead character having a memory problem and any woman who acts in a film has the sole purpose of displaying a massive amount of cleavage.



Jiggly Boobs + 2 Piece Bikinis + Smooching + Memory Loss + Jumping Off Buildings = Prince.

And WHAT THE FU*K is up with you wearing so much leather in Prince, huh?

Its time you were told that leather looks good on girls not on guys. Shiny body hugging leather was created so that guys would be able to appreciate the gorgeous curves on a babe.

If You Put The Same Body Hugging Leather On A Dude then that Dude Looks Gay. Gay, Gay, Gay and more Gay.

Were You Trying To Make An Action Film Or A Homo Erotic S&M Gay Porn Orgy?


There was a time when this country made the greatest films on the planet. People like Gurudutt, Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Bimal Roy, Satyajit Ray, even Yash Chopra and many many more Kicked Ass every Friday on the Box Office.

But your friend KOOKIE is more interested in making you look COOL.

COOL is something Vivek Oberoi cannot do. It would be easier to make India’s Labor Minister Mallikarjun Kharge look cool,

or even Vikram Chandra from NDTV look cool ,



BUT making you look cool is an impossible task.So please, stop trying to be cool and just focus on acting, GOD DAMN IT.


YOU ARE COOLNESS IMPAIRED. On the odd occasion even someone deficient in the ‘COOL’ department like Sunil Shetty can be made to look massively cool like in the smash hit coolness personified song ‘SHEHER KI LADKI’ from the film ‘RAKSHAK’. Now this is COOL.



Just to repeat- you are not COOL and dressing up in leather, acting in films named after dogs, directed by biscuits make you a FOOL .

NOT COOL . FOOL .

Moreover you thought that wearing a metal bracket on your arm would make you a super cool thief then once again you are wrong because you don’t look cool.

You look like a DIMWIT CONDENSED VERSION OF THE POWER RANGERS as if a sudden Income Tax RAID scared the bajeezus out of your sleep and jumping out of bed all you could take was the arm guard which looks like a SAWED OFF METALPIPE SUPERGLUED TO YOUR ARM.


IN FACT THE ENTIRE STAR CAST OF PRINCE WOULD GET THEIR ASSES WHIPPED BY THE KINDERGARTEN POWER RANGERS.THAT’S HOW ULTRA LAME AND MORONIC YOU AND THE OTHER TOTS IN THIS CLUSTERFU*K OF A FILM ACTUALLY ARE.



In fact when it comes to being entertaining I remember the fantastic entertainment you provided in years past especially the time when you called a press conference to tell the whole world that Salman Khan was a Rank One Asshole.

That was easily your greatest work as an actor, unintentional as it may be. We should ask your producer to release those collected mental escapades of your feud with Salman Khan AND at least have that press conference Immortalized on DVD, IN BLU RAY and HIGH DEF.



I mean I will always remember you as the guy who attracted the attention of one Aishwarya Rai and drove her to the height of outstanding boredom with your ‘COOL’ charms.

You just made it so damn easy for Abhishek Bachchan!! I know Abhishek’s a good guy but at least you should have presented him a challenge to obtain Aishwarya.

We are talking about Aishwarya Rai,the second most beautiful woman on the planet (the most beautiful woman being my wife).Instead, you just bored the hell out of her, drove her to the point of redundant lunacy and just dropped her into the waiting arms of Abhishek Bachchan.

Now Abhishek is saving all the trees of the world with his IDEA mobile ad campaign and you’re here doing films like Prince.

Choices.

What’s up with doing wheelies man? I know that smooching a hot chick is fun but there is a time and place for everything. If you’re busy sucking her lips while doing a wheelie on your bike then who’s going to keep their eyes on the road?

It is because of guys like you that the youth of India try impish stunts on their bikes without helmets as you demonstrate in Prince leading to road injuries and a life of wheel chair confinement.

Choices My Friend, Choices.

IF YOU CONTINUE TO APPLY YOUR ACTING SKILLS NO MATTER HOW LIMITED THEY ARE IN THE FIRST PLACE IN LETHARGIC OVERRATED NONSENSE INFESTED PARASITIC MEGA ESSAYS OF STUPIDITY AND PSEUDO COOLNESS WITH LOTS OF LEATHER LIKE PRINCE THEN YOUR CAREER IN A FEW YEARS IS GOING TO BE REDUCED TO SPOTS ON REALITY SHOWS LIKE BIGG BOSS.

Think about it. Make the right choice in films because if you don’t get your head out of your ASS immediately then pretty soon you’ll be wearing your intestines as skull caps and face masks.

If you do want to look cool then the coolest individual you can look up to is none other than ME.

Take a look at this video from CNBC’s Wealth Creators Show. Now I’m Cool. Leave Princes aside. This is how The Emperor Rolls. Surrounded by babes like Mitali Mukherjee promoting my massive intelligence and of course my God given SEXY figure.

Just take a look at the video dude and you will learn what COOL actually looks like.

video


Rakesh Jhunjhunwala

Born Cool, Gets Cooler Everyday And Makes Great Choices Picking Stocks.


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